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Uji^fBet 

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T. S. Denison & Company, Publishers 

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BETTY'S LAST BET 




BETTY'S LAST BET 

A Farce-Comedy in Three Acts 

BY 

Edith Ellis 

AUTHOR OF 

"Mary Jane's Pa," "Contrary Mary," "The Man 

"Higher Up," "Mrs. Jimmy Thompson," 

"Whose Little Bride Are 

Youf" etc. 




CHICAGO 
T. S . DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 






^^\ 



Please Read Carefully^ 




HE PROFESSIONAL STAGE-RIGHTS 
in this play are strictly reserved and all 
applications for its use should be addressed 
to the publishers. Amateurs may obtain 
permission to produce it on payment of a 
fee of twenty dollars ($20.00) for each perform- 
ance, in advance. Correspondence on this subject 
should be addressed to T. S. Denison & Company, 
623 South Wabash Avenue, Chicago, 111. 
"^^> "v:> -Cv 

G/lttention is called to the penalties provided 
by the Copyright Law of the United States of 
America in force July 1, 1909, for any infringe- 
ment of the owner's rights, as follows : 

Sec. 28. That any person who willfully and for profit 
shall infringe any copyright secured by this Act, or who 
shall knowing,ly and willfully aid or abet such infringement, 
shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon convic- 
tion thereof shall be punished by imprisonment for not 
exceeding one year or by a fine of not less than one hundred 
dollars nor more than one thousand dollars, or both, in the 
discretion of the court. 

<:> ^> ^:::> 

COPYRIGHT, 1921. BY EDITH ELLIS 
cALL RIGHTS RESERVED 



.:. JCT 29 1921 

©Cl.[}" 5 9009 



/ 



BETTY'S LAST BET 

For Five Men and Six Women. 

CHARACTERS. 

Mrs. Darling 

A fVido'Xi- ivitli Four Great Problems. 

Katherine 

Called "Kitty," Her Eldest Daughter. 

jNIargaret 

Called "Peggy," Her Second. 

Dorothy 

Called "Dolly," Her Third. 

Elizabeth 

Called "Betty," Her Fourth. 

Hannah 

A General Servant Who Doesn't Like Men. 

Richard Wentworth 

Wealthy Man of Affairs and Colonel of National Guard. 

Percy Wentworth 

His Nepheiv and Ward; a Student, and Heir to a Large 
Portion of the Wentxcorth Fortune. 

Jack Van Loon . 

Of the Historic Fan Loons. 
Hamilton Moriarity 

A Rising Young State Legislator. 
Edgar Darling 

A Cousin Who Is a Student of Archaeology. 

Scene — Living room in the Darling house in a 
remote small town in Connecticut. 

Time — The present. It is a blight summer day. 

Time of Playing — Tz€0 and one-half hours. 

5 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



COSTUMES. 

Mrs. Darling — Act I, light summer house dress, 
hecoining; hair done high; earrings. Large white 
apron. Acts II and III, gray or dark silk or crepe 
afternoon dress ; lace in sleeves and neck. Hand- 
some comb. 

Kitty — Acts I and II, pretty light cotton sum- 
mer dress, black stockings and slippers. Act III, 
pretty dinner dress of light or bright material, shoes 
and stockings in keeping. 

Peggy and Dolly — Same directions. The girls' 
dresses should be planned for contrast. 

Betty' — Act I, first dress, handsome spring cloth 
dress and long cape, smart hat and gloves. Second 
dress, pretty cotton summer dress made in more 
youthful style and shorter ; black shoes and stock- 
ings. Act II, same as last dress in Act I. Act III, 
very charming dinner frock, slippers and stockings 
to match. 

Hannah — Neat plain cotton dress and apron. 

Richard Wentworth — Uniform of Colonel of 
National Guard. Small moustache if advisable. 
Swagger stick. 

Percy Wentworth — White flannel suit or white 
trousers ; silk shirt and dark sack coat, belt and 
hi'Ight socks and tie; white shoes and straw hat. 

Jack Van Loon — Gray sack coat and trousers ; 
silk negligee shirt, brown shoes and socks, motor cap. 

Hamilton Moriarity' — Blue or black sack suit, 
light felt soft hat ; fancy tic and socks ; gloves and 
motor coat. 

Edgar Darling — Panama hat, brown or oxford 
suit; cotton negligee shirt, black tie, shoes and 
socks. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



LIGHTS. 

Footlights and borders full up, for it is daylight 
throughout the play. 



PROPERTIES. 
Act I. 

Wall telephone and bell. 

Large rug. 

Several small rugs if necessary to cover floor. 

Two window shades. 

Two pair sash curtains at windows. 

Two pair cretonne, chintz or denim lambrequins. 

Small desk with papers and writing material. 

Four large pictures on wall. 

Book shelves and books. 

Large reading table. 

Two easy chairs. 

Three small chairs. 

Lamp on table. 

Small desk lamp. 

Sewing table and chair. 

Sofa with cretonne cover. 

Three cushions. 

Victrola and records. 

Flower boxes for porch rail. 

House plants on window sills. 

Summer hat, flowers and ribbon for Peggy. 

Work box and sewing material for Peggy. 

Magazine for Dolly. 

Plate of fudge for Dolly. 

Tray of jars, painted inside to resemble canned 

fruit, for Mrs. Darling. 
Same for Hannah. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



Three letters for Mrs. Darling. 

Hand satchel, hand bag and umbrella for Betty. 

Small book of poems for Kitty. 

Motor horn. 

Swagger stick for Richard. 

Act II. 

Silver and plates for sounds of cliaracters lunching 

off stage at opening. 
Napkin for Betty. 
Glass of water for Peggy. 
Locket and chain for Peggy. 
Suit case and satchel for Edgar. 
Tray with pitcher of lemonade, six glasses and plate 

of cake for Hannah. 
Glass crash off L. 
Photograpli album for Percy. 

Act III. 

Small tray, two wine bottles and eight wine glasses 
for Mrs. Darling. 

SCENE PLOT. 

Porch Rail Informal Garden Drop 

Window □Chair Window 

I I 1 Door f- 



Book^^"^® n ' ""chairDnrn ^^ \ < - 

Case □ sT^nd oes.LJnChair L.U. Door^'^ - 

Chair ■ — ■ 

Stand] I 




PI R. Doo 

onograph Lj 

Table 



□ I lOChair \\ 




STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage; C, center, R. C, right 
center; L., left; U. L., up left, etc. Up stage, away 
from footlights; down stage, near footlights. The 
actor is supposed to be facing the audience. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



The First Act. 

Scene: A pleasant Uiing room in the Darling 
home. Forenoon of the present day. The back 
wall of the room is broken by a door, C, leading 
on to a porch. On either side of the door is a win- 
doic draped with cretonne and fresh net hangings. 
Beyond the door is seen a porch rail, and back of 
that a fexv feet is a drop showing a country land- 
scape. The R. wall is broken by a door in the 
center leading into a drawing room or parlor. 
The L. wall has a door up stage leading to the 
dining room and kitchen. A lower door, L., leads 
to a pantry. Handsome rug on the floor; good 
pictures on the walls. Wall telephone R. of C. D. 
The furniture may be worn, but it is all good 
mahogany of fine design. Large reading table 
R. C. with chairs as shown in diagram. A desk 
up near window, L.; a settee, L. C. Easy chairs, 
stands, etc., as in diagram. A talking machine is 
down R., with record stand. Flowers are in vases 
about the room. A bookshelf or two against the 
icalls. The room shozcs that it is the home of 
women of taste, though it is a bit shabby. The 
sofa and one or two of the chairs have cretonne 
slips to match the curtains at windows. House 
plants are on the window sills and flower boxes 
decorate the porch rail. 

Rise of curtain reveals Kitty sitting at her desk in 
the window, L., and writing. She is a charming 
9 



10 BETTY'S LAST BET 

girl of twenty- three, very spirited hut dignified. 
Peggy is trimming a summer hat near the table, 
R. She is pretty, also, but not so tall as Kitty 
and of different type and coloring. Age twenty- 
one. Dolly lies stretched out on the sofa, her 
head toward the window on a pile of cushions, 
reading a magazine and munching fudge from a 
plate on the floor near her. She is also pretty but 
inclined to be plump, rather slower witted than 
her sisters, and young even for her age, which is 
nineteen. All three are dressed in pretty summer 
cottons suitable for morning wear, and all wear 

aprons. ^ 

Dolly. 

{In a droning voice.) 

"Gladys turned her eyes upon his with a look so 

full of pleading that as he gazed into their azure 

depths, something within his breast fluttered, swelled 

to bursting, and then like a tide retreated, leaving 

him helpless before her loveliness. *Gladys, my own,' 

he said — ^\Reaching for a piece of fudge.) 

Peggy. 
{Trying the effect of a bunch of flowers on the hat.) 
What do you think of this, Kitty.? 

Kitty. 

{Without looking up.) 

It's all right. Peggy. 

{Annoyed.) 

"All right".? What do you mean by all right.? 

(Kitty continues writing in silence.) Why, you 

haven't even looked. ^^ 

Kitty. 

{Looking up.) 

That's pretty. A httle more to this side, though. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 11 

Peggy. 
I'm so sick of trimming my own hats. This poor 
old straw shape has been on duty so long it should 
draw an old age pension. 

Dolly. 

(Resuming, reading aloud, with her mouth half full 

of fudge.) 

" 'Gladys, my own,' he said, 'bear with me. I 

am not the man you thought me. I am not worthy 

of your love. But, oh, my sweet angel — ' " 

Kitty. 
Dolly, will you please shut up. 

Dolly. 

" '-—you have opened new vistas of life for me. You 

have—' " 

Kitty. 

And don't read with your mouth full; it's fright- 

ful. -^ 

Dolly. 

Peggy wants to hear this, don't you. Peg.'' 

Peggy. 
I haven't heard a word you've been reading. 

Dolly. 

It's adorable. I'll begin at the beginning. Listen. 

''The sun was sinking behind the old red barn, 

and—" •, 

Feggy. 

{Crossly.) 

Don't give us anything about barns, or chicken 

coops. We've got enough of that sort of thing right 

here. 

Dolly. 

But j'-ou should hear how she meets him. It's the 

most romantic thing. "She was on her knees by the 



12 BETTY'S LAST BET 

spring with her lily hands trailing in the cool water, 
when the shadow of his broad shoulders — " 

Kitty. 

Will you girls keep still? How anyone can write 

a line of poetry with your gabbing in one's ears, 

I'd like to know. (Resumes her position of thinking 

and finally gets a line.) 

(Dolly is eating the last piece of fudge. Peggy 

is tacking on the flowers.) 

Peggy. 

{Casting an eye on Dolly's fudge plate, and in a 

low tone.) 

Mother will give you the dickens for eating all 

that fudffc. ^ 

^ Dolly. 

She doesn't know I made it. I hid it under my 

bed last night. 

{Voices of Mrs. Darling and Hannah are heard 

off U. L.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
{In a strong and rigorous voice, heard off.) 
We'll put them on the shelves now. 

Mrs. Darling enters with a tray full of canned 
fruit in her hands, followed by Hannah with an- 
other. The cans should he ordinary mason jars- 
painted on the inside with dark red, purple or hroxcn 
paint to look like fruit juice. Mrs. Darling is 
plump, handsome and forty-five, wearing a becoming 
house dress and hair done well. 

Hannah. 
{As she follows her in.) 
I always think they'd better be stood on their 
heads in the kitchen another twenty-four hours. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 13 

(Hannah is tall, thin and rather gloomy; she wears 
a clean kitchen dress and is thirty-eight.) 

Mrs. Darling. 

Don't be so stubborn, Hannah. These cans have 

stood on their heads all night, and I've filled them 

up with iuice. _._. 

^ -^ Hannah. 

Well, it won't do no harm to give them another 

twenty-four. , , ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Please don't argue. I guess I've put up fruit be- 
fore. 

Hannah. 

Yes, and those plums busted their tops off. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Dolly, get up and hold this tray for me. 

Dolly. 

Oh, mother! ,, .^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Reading a magazine again^ — and eating ! What 

are you eating now? 

Dolly. 

Nothing much. ,, ^ 

® Mrs. Darling. 

Do you want to weigh a ton.^^ It's fudge. I can 
smell it. Of all the fattening things it's fudge. Get 
up now and hold this tray. (Dolly does so reluc- 
tantly.) You lazy girl! How^ do you expect to get a 
husband if you weigh a ton before you're twenty? 
{Begins to put awaij jars on shelves in pantry down 

L) ^ XT 

Hannah. 

Oh, there's them that likes 'em fat. 

Peggy. 
(Sarcastically.). 
Yes : the Turks. 



14 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Hannah. 

All the Turks ain't Mohammedans, Miss Dolly. 

There's plenty of Christian Turks right up there in 

New York. ,_ 

Kitty. 

(Rising and throwing down her pencil.) 

Oh, I give up! Y^'ou mig-ht as well try to write 

poetry in a foundry. 

Mrs. Darling. 
(Returning for more jars.) 
Poetry! What next? There's the garden to be 
weeded, and the chickens to be fed, and — 

Kitty. 
(In a burst of temper.) 
Oh, I'm sick of it all. We'll be doing these same 
things until we're a hundred. I'd like to run away. 
(Goes to the door and out on the porch.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
(Amazed.) 
Well, I never! Katherine, is that the way to talk? 
And before your sisters ! A nice example you're set- 

^'"^- Hannah. 

(With a solemn wink.) 
She's got something preying on her mind. Love, 
most likely. p^^^^. 

(With a laugh.) 
Love? Yes, that is likely. Who is there to fall in 
love with in this place, I'd like to know? 

Dolly. 
That's what I say. We're doomed. 

Hannah. 

What do you bother about it for? You're ten 



BETTY'S LAST BET 15 

times better off single. ' Look at ine. Do I worry 
about gittin' married? Not much. 
Mrs. Darling. 
{As she goes busily on putting away the jars.) 
You can't tell me, Hannah, that you're an old 
maid because you u^ant to be. It isn't human. 
Hannah. 
I wouldn't trade my liberty for the best man that 
ever smelled of tobacco. 

Peggy. 
Well, I don't mind saying that if there was a de- 
cent looking youth m this village, or a marriageable 
man, I'd take some interest in this danied old hat. 
But as it is — ugh ! ( With an impatient movement 
she sails the hat across the room.) 
]Mrs. Darling. 
{Taking the last jars off Hannah's tray.) 
Tliat will do, Hannah. You may as well start 

making; those pies. 

*^ ^ Hannah. 

Yes, ma'am. {Starts up.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
We are going to have company for dinner. 

Kitty. 
Company.? ^^^ Darling. 

A young gentleman. 

Peggy. 

^' Mrs. Darling. 

Yes ; I had a letter this morning saying we could 
expect him some time today. 

Who is it.? Dolly. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Your cousin, Edgar Darling, from Ohio. 



16 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Kitty. 
What's the good of a cousin? 

Dolly. 
Why, it isn't against the law to marry a cousin. 

Mrs. Darling. 

That's right, Dolly. And beside, his mother, your 

father's sister, writes that he is a very remarkable 

youns" man. ^^ 

Kitty. 

How.? 

Mrs. Darling. 

He is an archaeologist. 

Peggy. 

That's all I want to know about him. 

Hannah. 

Does an archaeologist eat pie? 

Mrs. Darling. 

I should hope so. _.-. 

^ Hannah. 

All right. But I'm only a plain cook, and I don't 
count on pleasing people that have a lot of 'ologies 
and 'isms in their systems. (She exits U. L.) 
Kitty. 
What is he coming to see us for? 

Mrs. Darling. 
He is on his way to Europe with a party of archae- 
ologists who are going to dig up Greece. {Finishing 
putting jars away. Takes letters from pocket, one 
opened, one unopened.) 

Peggy. 
What is lie like? 

Mrs. Darling. 
(Sitting on the settee. The girls hover around her.) 
Your Aunt Katherine says — you are named for 



BETTY'S LAST BET 17 

her, Kitty — she says that Edgar is a model son, 
and devoted to his work; has never tasted liquor; 
never uses tobacco in any form. His English is so 
pure that she has never heard him use a word of 
slang. And as for staying out nights, he has never 
even been to the movies. (Refers to the letter, re- 
reading it.) ^^^^^^ 

Whv doesn't Aunt Katherine preserve him in al- 
cohol ? -r, 

Peggy. 

Yes ; there'll never be two like him. 

Dolly. 

Of course any man that comes to see us would 

be like that. ,^ 

Kitty. 

How long is this precious pet going to stay.^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
His mother says he will run down from New 
York ; that he will only have a day and a half to 
spend with us before his expedition sails. 

Kitty. 
I shall stay up in my room and finish my poem. 

Peggy. 
I shall make an excuse and go for a lonesome pic- 
nic in the woods. ^ 

Dolly. 

I shall go to bed and say I've got a headache. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Y^ou will do nothing of the sort. Teddy may not 
be the most lively young man in the world, but he's 
steady and reliable, and you might do worse. 

Kitty. 
I resign in Peggy's favor. 



IS BETTY'S LAST BET 

Peggy. 

I'd rather join Hannah's old maid class. You can 

have him, Dolly. -^ 

•^ Dolly. 

Oh, thanks, I'll pass him on to Betty. 

Kitty. 
Imagine Betty married to a man like that. She's 
lucky to be away. 

Mrs. Darlixg. 
Here's a letter from your Aunt Elizabeth. An- 
other complaint about Betty, I suppose. Tliat girl ! 
I imagine she's driving Elizabeth out of her mind. 
(Opens letter and starts to read.) 

Kitty. 
Betty's in luck. Think of it! School in New 
York and Aunt Elizabeth's motor car ! 

Mrs. Darling. 

( Gasping. ) 

Good Lord ! ^ 

Girls. 

iTin J. • -i.:) (Together.) 

What Ls \t? y ir, } 

What on earth's the matter.^ 
Has something happened.^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
Betty's coming home. 

Coming home.^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
Yes. Coming today. 

Kitty. 
What has happened.^ 

]Mrs. Darling. 
Elizabeth doesn't say- But slie says she can't 



BETTY'S LAST BET 19 

have the responsibiHty of Betty aii}^ longer. She's 

been expelled, too. Expelled! Thmk of it! 

Peggy. 

Isn't that just our luck.? 

Mrs. Darxing. 

Expelled! Her aunt pays for her schooling and 

she gets expelled! Oh, that wretched girl! (Gets up 

and walks the floor.) After all her aunt has done for 

her. ,^ 

Kitty. 

It's probably onl^' one of her pranks. 

Mrs. Darxing. 

Only one of her pranks! It has been her pranks 

that have kept us all in hot water ever since she 

could walk. „ 

Peggy. 

PoorBettv! ^^ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Coming today ! Well ! I'll teach her to get ex- 
pelled. I'll — (Telephojie bell rings suddenly/. It is 
on the rear wall R. of the doorway.) 
Peggy. 

I'll answer. (Runs to telephone.) 
Mrs. Darxing. 

It isn't enough that I've got four of you to marry 
off, but that the youngest, the one to go last, 
should torment the life out of me — 
Peggy. 

Hello. * * Hello. * * Miss Darling.? This is 
Margaret Darling. * * Oh, Miss Katherine Dar- 
ling. * * (Kitty jumps up; she motions her away.) 
I'll take the message. (Her hand over the transmit- 
ter, to Kitty.) Go away! 

It's for me. ^^'^^^^ 



20 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Peggy. 
(Holding Kitty off.) 
Oh, Mr. Wentworth's butler. * ^ (All are trans- 
fixed except Kitty, who seems disappointed.) Yes. 
* * Mr. Percy Wentworth will call this morning.'^ 
Why, of course she will be at home. * * Very well. 
(Hangs up receiver.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
(Suddenly beaming.) 
Now that is a piece of good luck. Kitty, do you 
hear.? Percy Wentworth is coming to call this morn- 
ing. Well, are you dumb-f^ 

Kitty. 
I don't want to see him. (Peggy and Dolly ex- 
claim in shocked surprise.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
Are you out of your senses.? A boy that can buy 
and sell everybody in this place when he comes of 

^^^ ' Kitty. 

Yes, when he comes of age. He's years younger 

than I am. ^r -r^ 

.Mrs. Darling. 

But think of his mone3^ 

Kitty. 
I don't want his money. Any way, he's a perfect 
fool. 

JJOLLY. 

Oh, Kitty, he's ever so good looking. 

Kitty. 
And he's shorter than I am. 

Mrs. Darling. 
I declare, I don't know what you want; money, 
position, youth. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 21, 

Kitty. 
I want a real man. 

Mks. Darling. 
The best catch, the only catch in Stockbridge, and 
you talk like that! Now, I want all this novel read- 
ing and poetic writing stopped. There are a good 
many million less men in the world than there were 
before the war. For a few generations you will have 
to take not the sort of husband you want, but the 

kind vou can s^et. ^ 

^ Dolly. 

Mother, I'm crazy about Percy Wentworth. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Yes, but unfortunately Kitty is the one he is in 

love with. ,^ 

Kitty. 

Calf love. ^ r TA 

Mrs. Darling. 

When you can't get roast beef, a veal cutlet will 

do very well. 

Hannah rushes in, U. L. 

Hannah. 
Look, look ! Here comes Miss Betty, bag and bag- 

^^^'- All. 

What ! 

Betty here already .^^ 
Goodness me! (Etc.) 

{They run to the door and presently Betty is 

heard.) „ 

^ Betty. 

(Outside.) 

Hello, there, folks! Ooee! Anybody home.'^ Hello 

there, everybody ! 



22 BETTY'S LAST BET 



^lll shout and talk at once as Betty passes the 
window, R,y and meets them at the door. Mrs. Dar- 
Ung remains in the room, having crossed over to R. 
C. The girls are delighted to see her. She is dressed 
in a smart summer traveling suit, very groxvn up. 
Her hair is beautifully done. She carries a travel- 
ing bag and an umbrella. 

(The three following speeches are spoken together.) 

Kitty. 
Oh, Betty, how wonderful you look. What a 
stunning cape. 

X EGGY. 

My goodness, Betty! What in the world has 
happened at school? 

Dolly. 
For the love of goodness ! What are you home 
for ? Peggy, look at her clothes ! 

Betty. 

{Kissing them all around.) 

Kitty dear, I'm glad to see you. Hello, Peg, 

you old goop. Dolly, ni}^ g()odness, you're getting 

fat! ./ ._ 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Steimly and with folded arms, as she eyes her fourth 

daughter.) 

Well.'^ (There is a silence that might be cut with 

a knife.) ^ 

Betty. 

(With a weak little smile and a lower tone.) 

Oh, hello. Mamma! (Goes over and kisses her 

mother on the cheek; then stands looking at her and 

waiting for the storm to break.) You — you are 

looking awfully w^ell. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 23 

Mrs. Darling. 

Thank you. It's a wonder jour conduct hasn't 

put me on a bed of sickness. Now I want to know 

the meanine; of this. ^ 

Betty. 

Meaning of what.^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Don't answer me tiiat way. And what are you 
doing with your hair done up, and with this outfit "i 
You are dressed Hke a grown-up woman. 

Betty. 
Why, I am a woman. I'm past seventeen and — 

KiTTV. 

That cape is old enough for me. 

AIrs. Darling. 

Take it off. (Betty does so ruefully.) Give it to 
me. (Betty does so.) Now you sit down. All of 
you sit down. 

(Kitty, Peggy a?id Dolly' sit on the sofa in the 
order of their names. Betty' seats herself L. of table 
and Mrs. Darling on R.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
Now, to begin witli, where did you get this outfit.^ 

Betty. 

I won it. 

Mrs. Darling. 

What do you mean by "won it".? (Betty' does 

not answer, but looks at her glove.) Have you been 

betting again.? (Still no answer; the girls look at 

eaeh other.) Answer me. 

^^ Betty'. 

1 es. 

(All exclaim their displeasure.) 



24 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
Well, you set' it was this way. It wasn't my bet, 
it was Angela Simmons'. She has a lot of money 
and she's in the senior class. She bet me that cape 
against my bead bag that I won from Aunt Eliza- 
beth, that I couldn't get the faculty to let us have 
a dance in the gym on May Day, and I won. 
(All exclaim in astonishment.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
And that dress .^ _^ 

ijETTY. 

I won that from Aunt Elizabeth. 

Mrs. Darling. 

For what.f^ _^ 

Betty. 

She bet I couldn't run her car. And I did. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Have you done anything but bet since you've been 

in New York.? _, 

Betty. 

I should say I had. I've had a perfectly wonder- 
ful time. 

iMrs. Darling. 

Your Aunt Elizabeth has been very kind to give 

you this opportunity. And now I understand that 

the end of it all is that you have been expelled in 

your freshman year. 

Betty. 

Yes; isn't it disgusting? (Turning to he?' sisters 

and beginning to talk verij brightly.) Oh, girls, if 

you had only seen the — 

Mrs. Darling. 

(In a loud, stern voice.) 

That will do! (Silence instantly.) Now, young 

woman, what is this about your being expelled.? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 25 



Betty. 
(With a sickly smile.) 
Oh, liave you heard about that? 

Mrs. Darling. 
Yes, I have. 



Betty. 



Oh 



Mrs. Darling. 

I should say it was "oh!" I've just got your Aunt 

Elizabeth's letter about it. 

Betty. 

Well, then, we don't have to discuss it, do y,\d? 

(Starts to rise.) ^^ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Sit down in that chair and tell me what you have 
been doing to get yourself expelled. What new dis- 
grace have you put upon us all.^ 
Betty. 

Well, you see, Daisy Hunter in the sophomore 
class was crazy about an awfully cute chap up at 
Columbia. (Getting interested in the story at once, 
the girls are enthralled.) Her people thought they 
were too young to marry, and Daisy cried herself 
sick about it. We girls thought she was going into 
a decline, and he was just as bad — missed all his 
classes ; nearly died from drinking home-brew, and 
went all to pieces. (The girls all exclaim in sympa- 
thy.) Dais}^ told me all about it, and I fixed up a 
plan for them to run away and get married. 
Mrs. Darling, 

Elizabeth Darling ! ^ 

^ Betty. 

Well, you wouldn't liave the poor girl die, would 

you.? 

Kitty. 

Oh, go on. 



26 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Peggy and Dolly. 
Yes, do. 

iJETTY. 

Well, I borrowed Aunt Elizabeth's car after Hal 

had got a license, and I took Daisy for a drive. 

Then I got rid of Aunt Elizabeth's chauffeur. 

Peggy. 

Oh, how.? 

Betty. 

I bet he couldn't find nie a bunch of wild flowers, 

and while he was off looking for some I took the 

wheel, turned back toward town, picked up Hal, took 

them to the City Hall and they were married. 

Kitty. 



Wonderful ! 
Perfect ! 
Adorable ! 
Wasn't it.? 
Go on. 



Peggy. 

Dolly. 

Betty. 

Mrs. Darling. 



Betty. 

Of course Daisy's people, and Hal's, were furious. 
And they came to the school, and the papers got hold 
of it, and the faculty said I had ruined the reputa- 
tion of the school and all that — and — so they ex- 
pelled me, and here I am. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Y"es, here you are. A nice outlook, too. Four 
girls on my hands, and you, the hahy, covering us 
with disgrace! {Breaks down and he gins to cry.) 
No money; no prospects; and now this! 
Betty. 
{Going to her, much affected.) 
Don't cry, mamma; I'm sorry. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 27 

Kitty. 
(Beginning to cry, too; the other girls follow suit.) 
We might as well be buried ali^^e. 

Peggy. 
Yes; we'll never get out of this hole. 

Dolly. 
I wish rd been Aunt Elizabeth's namesake. 

Betty. 
I really am sorry. If I'd realized — (rising) 

Mrs. Darling. 
If you'd realized! The same old song. Did you 
ever do anything in your life but get into mischief? 
From the time you could walk you've kept every- 
body around in hot water. But I'll settle you, miss. 
Y^ou take off that dress and stop putting on these 
old airs. If you are going to stay at home, you will 
be what you are, the youngest member of the famil}'. 
I'll decide what you shall wear after this. 

Betty. 

But, mamma — ^r t^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

If you'd take less interest in marrying off your 
schoolmates, and a little more in keeping up the fam- 
ily dignity, your poor sisters might have a chance. 
I'm expecting your cousin, Eddie Darling, to pay 
us a visit today. Betty. 

(Excitedly.) 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Goes to door U. L.) 

Y"es, really. And if you don't behave yourself I'll 

lock you in your room until he has gone. And no 

more bets, young woman ; no more bets. (Exits U. L.) 



Really? 



28 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
{Running over to C. The girls gather around her,) 
Who is Cousin Eddie? 

Peggy. 
Aunt Katherine's son. 

Dolly. 
He's coming today. 

Betty. 
What'll you bet he's good looking? 

Kitty. 

No more bets. ^ 

Peggy. 

Betty, Kitty's got a beau. 

Betty. 
Goody! Who is it? 

Wait till you hear. _. 

•^ Betty. 

Tell me. This suspense is killing me. 

Peggy. 

Percy Wentworth. _, 

Betty. 

Who's he? ^ 

Dolly. 

His uncle is the man who has bought the old Rob- 
inson house on the hill for a summer place. 
Betty. 

Then he must have a lot of money. Hooray for 
you, Kitty! j^^^^^. 

My dear, he's only nineteen. 

Betty. 
The angel clnld! Where did you meet him? 

Kitty. 
Mrs. Gordon introduced us at church and he asked 
to come home with us. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 29 

Betty. 
But why didn't he take somebody his own age? 

Dolly. 

I wisli he would. _^ 

Kitty. 

Oh, it's only puppy love. 

Betty. 

Marry him for his money. He must be rich. 

Peggy. 

I think she's got somebody else in her head. 

Dolly. 
Yes, Kitty has taken to mooning ever since she 
came back from her visit to Aunt Margaret in Tren- 
ton. ^^ 

Kitty. 

All right, then, I have. 

Dolly. 
And she is very mysterious about that copy of 
Sonnets from the Portuguese. 
Peggy. 
Yes, never without them in her pocket. 

Betty. 
Come on now, Kitt}-, own up. Who's the Romeo P 

Kitty. 
No Romeo. He's — he's-;— oh, it isn't anything. 
{Very self-conscious.) 

Dolly. 
Oh, isn't it ! She's fibbing, girls. 

Peggy. 
Make her tell us, Betty. 

Betty. 
You're not in love with a married man, I hope.'' 



30 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Kitty. 
I don't know. (.jj^^g 

(All at once.) 

What.? 

My goodness! 

You don't know? _,. 

Kitty. 

Why, you see — oh, it happened a month ago. I 

took a notion to wander through the woods on the 

old Robinson place. I got caught in a mass of 

barbed wire, and while I was trying to untangle 

myself, a very stunning man came along and helped 

Dolly. 

A stunnincc man.'^ „ 

® Betty. 

His name, please. 

Kitty. 

I don't know. ^ 

Peggy. 

What was he like.? „ 

Kitty. 

(Floundering.) 

\er\ — very — well, cliarming and — and — 

Betty. 

Peggy. 

How old was he? 

Kitty. 

About thirty-five, I should think; and with such 

beautiful manners. _, 

Betty. 

Did he know who you were.? 

Kitty. 

No. -p, 

Dolly. 

How adorable! So romantic! 



BETTY'S LAST BET 31 

Kitty. 
He flirted a little, and — 

Betty. 
(With a wink at the other girls.) 
And you didn't, of course. 

Kitty. 
Wliy? I was nice ; he had helped me to get out of 
that horrid barbed wire, hadn't he.'^ 

Peggy. 
(To Betty and Dolly.) 
Only gratitude, my dear, nothing else. 

Betty. 
What about the Sonnets from the Portuguese.'^ 

Kitty. 

The book fell out of his pocket, and when we 

parted at the Robinson gate he asked me to keep it 

as a memento. ^ 

Dolly. 

Wliat an adorable adventure. 

Peggy. 
And you never said one word about it. 

Kitty. 
What was the use.^ I'll never see him again. 

Betty. 
But perhaps he is one of the Wentworths. 

Kitty. 

{Gloomily.) 

No, there are only two, Percy and his uncle, who 

isn't down here yet. No, it was some stranger. I'll 

never see him again. _, 

Betty. 

Does mother know.? 



32 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Kitty. 
No, indeed. She'd have a fit at iiij picking up an 
acquaintance like that. 

Betty. 
You're not the only one who's had an adventure. 
I have been going some myself. 

Kitty. 
Betty, what do you niean.^ 

Peggy. 

Do tell us, Betty. _, 

•^ Betty. 

{Mysteriously.) 

Come on over here. {She goes to the sofa; they 

all follow and the four girls squeeze down on the seat 

together.) Promise you won't tell. 

Girls. 

{Raising their right hands.) 

We promise! _. 

Betty. 

Well, my dears, you haven't heard the end of my 
escapade in helping out Daisy. The worst is 3^et to 
come. {They all exclaim in dismay.) Coming back 
with the car alone, I got into a mix-up with a milk 
wagon, and a traffic policeman arrested me for run- 
ning a car without a chauffeur's license. 

Girls. 
Arrested? g^^^^, 

{Smiling.) 
Yes, wouldn't that thrill you.^ 

Peggy. 

Awful! 

Kitty. 

If mother knew that! 



BETTY'S LAST BET 33 

Betty. 
If you tell her I'll murder you. 

Dolly. 
Go on. I've got shivers down my back. 

Betty. 
Well, the judge was very nice and made the fine 
very light, but I had no money. 

Dolly. 
Heavens, did they send you to jail.^ 

Betty. 
No, I didn't even have to tell Aunt Elizabeth. 

Kitty. 

How was that.'^ _, 

Betty. 

Because my hero was there. 

,. - ., Peggy. 

1 our liero.'^ 

Betty. 

Yes, the best looking thing. 

Dolly. 

Adorable ! _^ 

Betty. 

He had just been arrested, too, for speeding. So 

he offered to pay my fine. 

Kitty. 

And you let him? _, 

Betty. 

What could I do.^ Of course I told him it was 

only a loan. _. 

'' Peggy. 

How much was it? 

Betty. 
The judge let me off with ten dollars on consid- 
eration that I was so young, so fair and so innocent. 



34 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Dolly. 
But did you ever see him again? 

Betty. 
Yes. Wlieii I was changing trains at the Junc- 
tion, he was there with his car and lie drove me home. 
Kitty. 
(Amazed.) 
Here? He drove you to the door? 

Betty. 
Not nuich. I got out at tlie corner and walked. 

Peggy. 
Oh, wliat is liis name? 

Betty. 
Isn't it lovely. I don't know. 

Dolly. 
Everybody has a romance but you and me, 
Peggy. Bj,^^y. 

(With a sigh.) 
Well, it's all over now. We're all stuck here in 
Stockbridge for life. Except you, Kitty. Marry 
that child husband and get us out of here. 

Kitty. 
I'd rather die an old maid. 

Peggy. 
And be buried with a copy of Sonnets from the 
Portuguese in your hand. 

Mrs. Darling enters from U. L. with a gingham 
dress on her arm. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Now, miss, you get out of those duds and into 
something a Httle more suitable. March! 



BETTY'S LAST BET 35 

Betty. 

What will you bet it's too short? (Going toward 

her mother.) ,^ .^^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

I am not bettinej. t, 

^ Betty. 

My trunk will be right up, and Aunt Elizabeth has 

given me a very prettj^ dinner dress. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Well, if you think you're going to be expelled 

from school and then sit around in dinner dresses, 

you're very much mistaken. You will help about the 

house. _^ 

Betty. 

Don't I get a day ofF when I first come home to 

the bosom of my family .-^ ' 

Mrs. Darling. 
You do not. Go along now. (Shoves her out U.L., 
and turns to the girls, who have scattered. Kitty 
is at the table looking at her Sonnets. Dolly up 
at the door, and Peggy putting away her hat and 
serving material.) What were you all whispering 
and squealing about .^^ (Xo answer.) I asked you — 

Dolly. 

(Excitedli/.) 
Oh, mother, here comes Percy Wentworth, in his 
tennis flannels. Oh, he looks too adorable ! 

Kitty. 
I'm going. (Starts L.) 

Mrs. Darling. 

You will do nothing of the kind. (Untying her 

big white apron.) Peggy, take my apron away. 

(Peggy takes it and the sewing things out U. L.) 

Katherine Darling, you will stay where you are. 



36 BETTY'S LAST BET 

And you will make yourself agreeable to Mr. Went- 
worth. The idea! {She is up L. C. ready to re- 
ceive. Peggy runs in again U. L. and places her- 
self near sofa. Kitty is R. of table. Dolly is by 
desk U. L., giggVuig hysterically.) Dolly, stop your 
giggling. 

Percy Wextworth enters the porch and is about 
to knock. He is a small but good looking youth 
of nmeteen, dressed in tennis flannels and wearing 
a straw hat. He is a shy but very sentimental boy, 
and it is a peculiarity of his temperament that he is 
constantly falling in love. So his manner is rather 
moonstruck. At the same time he is a gentleman 
and has a rather shy, naive charm. 

Percy. 
Is — er — is Miss Darling in? 

Mrs. Darling. 

( Feigning surprise. ) 

Oh, dear me ! Is this — can this be Mr. Wentworth.? 

Do come right in. {Going up and almost hauling him 

in.) How charming of you to surprise us like this. 

Percy. 
Didn't my man telephone that I was coming.'' 

Mrs. Darling. 

Oh, yes, so he did. But that was the surprise I 
meant. 

(Percy is gazing around the room as if seeking 
someone. His eyes first light on Peggy.) 

Percy. 
Oh, how do you do.^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
You know Margaret, of course, my second. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 37 

Percy. 
Oh— je — yes. {He turns up a little and meets 
Dolly's eyes as she comes down.) Oh, how do you 

Mrs. Darling. 
You've met Dorothy, my third. 

Percy. 
(Grormng very much embarrassed and miserable un- 
til he spies Kitty across R.) 
Oh, Miss Katherine! 

Mrs, Darling. 
Ah, now we know wlio you came to see. 

Percy. 

Oh, no, really, Mrs. Darling. It's such a pleasure 

to meet you all. ,^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Won't you sit down? {She motions him to sit L. 
of table and gives Dolly and Peggy a signal to get 
out, which they refuse to do.) Isn't it warm this 
morning.'^ {She goes over to the sofa and seats her- 
self. Kitty sits R. of table, very bored and quiet.) 
But in that great big house of yours, you must be 
quite comfortable. {Again waves the girls off, but 
they hang on and go back- of the sofa and look in- 
terestedly at Percy. Dolly especially seems to ad- 
mire him.) Still you must find it lonely, don't you? 

Percy. 

{Xot listening, but gazing rapturously at Kitty, 
Is suddenly conscious that he is expected to answer.) 

No — not at all. Er- — yes. Yes — I mean, of 
course not! 

(Kitty stares straight ahead, quite unmoved by 
all this.) 



.^8 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Mrs. Darling. 
What did you say, Kitty .^ (Giving her a sign to 
wake up and entertain Percy.) 

Kitty. 

Nothinef. , , ^ 

" Mrs. Darling. 

Poor dear, she's been writing poetry all the morn- 
ing, Mr. Went worth. And you know how exhaust- 
ing that is. Vy^^cy. 

{Happily.) 

Oh, do you write poetry. Miss Katherine.^ 

Kitty. 

I scribble a little. 

Percy. 

How lucky you are — to be able to clothe your 

feelings in words. It must be tremendously — er — 

you know — and everything. 

Dolly. 

{To Peggy, in low voice.) 

Isn't he adorable? 

Peggy. 

{In a half whisper.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
You must get Katherine to show you some of her 
poems. They are so full of feeling and — and things. 

Percy. 
I should love to see them. May I? 

Kitty. 

I only write for my own amusement. I'm sure 

Ihey would bore vou. 

Percy. 

Not at all. I have an idea we would find that 

many of our thoughts are alike. I can't write po- 



BETTY'S LAST BET 39 

ctry, but I can feel it. I often have the most won- 
derful feeHngs, especially in the moonlight. Don't 
you like the moonlight.^ 

Kitty. 
(Blankly.) 

Yes. ,, ^. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Oh, my dear Mr. Wentworth, I wish you could 

count the colds she has caught from walking in the 

wet grass watching the moon. I can see that you 

two have exactl^^ the same tastes. 

Percy. 

And that's the great thing, isn't it.^ To — to find 

people with the same tastes.^ That's what T tell my 

uncle. ^_ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Is your uncle coming dow^n here this summer.'' 

Percy. 

Oh, yes. That's why he bought the old Robinson 

place down here. Y"ou know, he is crazy about his 

militar}^ work. He is going to plan for a rifle range 

in this neighborhood. 

Kitty. 

No? „ 

Peggy. 

Is it possible.'^ ^ 

Dolly. 

Oh, wonderful ! 

(Peggy and Dolly are all excitement.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
When do you expect your uncle, Mr. Wentworth.'^ 

Percy. 
He came down from the city yesterday. We had a 
fearful row this morning. 



40 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Mrs. Darling. 

A row.? ^ 

Percy. 

Yes, he thinks I don't know my own mind. But 

I do, all right. {With a significant look at Kitty.) 

^Irs. Darlixg. 
Of course you do. Kitty, take Mr. Wentworth 
into the parlor. Kitty. 

{Pouting.) 
But, mother — 

Mrs. Darling. 

Take Mr. Wentworth into the parlor. 
Kitty. 

Oh, very well. Won't you come in? {She goes 
to the door and waits for him. He rises, very much 
pleased, and goes to door R.) 

Percy. 
After you. (Kitty eo'its R. D. and Percy fol- 
lows.) ^ 

Dolly. 

I think he's perfectly adorable. 

Peggy. 
He is too young for Kitty, and too little. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Never mind. He's the best catch that will ever 
darken our door. {Going L.) I'll have Hannah 
serve some cake and lemonade. Y^ou girls keep out 
of the way. Y^our turn will come when Kitty's mar- 
ried and settled. {Exits U. L.) 
Peggy. 
We'll be gray-headed before that happens, I 

guess. ^ 

"" Dolly. 

Why couldn't I have Kitty's luck? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 41 

Peggy. 
If he were only a little older — and taller. 

Dolly. 
I think he's just as nice as he can be. 

Peggy. 
1 don't hear a sound from in there. 1 wonder if 
Kitty is freezing him out. (Going to R. D. and 
listening. ) ^ 

( Joining her.) 
I wonder. ^ ^ ^ 

As they stand there with their backs to the room. 
Betty enters from L. with her hair in pigtails and 
a short dress on. The girls do not hear her as she 
runs over on tiptoe. 

Betty. 
{Just behind them as they listen.) 
Boo! {They give little screams and almost tumble 
bach in the room, then back away. Betty laughs.) 
What are you two doing.? 

Peggy. 
Now you've done it. 

Dolly. 
You mean thing. 

Betty. 
What's the matter.? 

Kitty. 
{Coming in from parlor, R.) 
What do you girls mean by acting like that.? It's 

disffustinff. ^ 

"^ ^ Dolly. 

It's Betty's fault. 

Peggy. 

Oh, go on, you're glad to get away from him. 



42 BETTY'S LAST BET 



B ETTY. 

For goodness sake, who's in there? 
Peggy. 

Kitty's admirer. _, 

•^ Betty. 

Perc}'.'* Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. 

Kitty. 

He's too silly for words. 

Hannah enters with tray containing cake and 

lemonade. ^^ 

Hannah. 

The minute a man enters tlie house, you've got to 
feed him. Here, you girls, take this. I can't be 
bothered serving wdth all I've got to do. 
Peggy. 
Hush, Hannah, he'll hear you! {Takes tray from 
Hannah.) Dolly and I will serve him. 
Dolly. 
Oh, that would be heavenly. (Peggy and Dolly 
rush into the parlor with the tray.) 

Kitty. 
I will not talk to that idiot another minute. 
Hannah. 
(Going back to her kitchen.) 
That's right, honey. That little whipper-snapper! 
Don't you bother with him. 

Kitty. 
I shall tell mother. Come on, Hannah, and stand 
by me. {Exits with Hannah U. L.) 
Betty, 
Beggars mustn't be choosers. {Goes over to par- 
lor door and peeks in. Sounds of Dolly giggling. 
A motor horn is heard outside. Bettv runs to the 



BETTY'S LAST BET 43 



door, then in great excitement jumps up and down 
and waves her hand as if at someone.) Wait! Stop! 
Come in. Do come in. {After a moment she rushes 
back, smooths her hair and primps a little.) 

Presently Jack Van Loox, a ivell set up young 

man, enters. He is charming, humorous, polished, 

impertinent, insinuating and delightful. About 

tzcenty-three. _ ,. ^ 

"^ Jack N ax Loon. 

{From the doorway.) 

Well, look who's here! 

Betty. 
That's just what I say. Won't you come in.'' 

Jack. 
So this is where you live when you're at home. 

Betty. 
This is where we die of loneliness when we're at 
home. Won't you come in.'^ 

Jack. 
{Coming in.) 
And who arc we? {Sits in chair L, of table. 
Betty in chair R. of table.) 

Betty. 

Myself and my three older sisters. 

Jack. 



Married ? 


Betty. 


No, single. 


Jack. 


All of them.? 


Betty. 


All three. 


Jack. 


What's the matter 


witli this town.'* 



44 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
All the men arc either married or impossible. 

Jack. 
That is tough. What made you come back here.'* 

Betty. 
I couldn't help myself. My aunt was paying for 
my school there, and I — I got expelled — and sent 
home. I'm finished. 

flACK. 

Finished.? You.? Never! 

Betty. 
Oh, yes, I am. If the other girls can't get a hus- 
band, how do you think I can.? I'm the youngest of 

the lot. T 

Jack. 

Why, you've got the best chance of all. Why 

doesn't your father scare up a match or two.? 

Betty. 

I have no father. , 

Jack. 

Then tell your brothers to get busy. 

Betty. 
We haven't any brothers. 
Jack. 
What is this.? An Adamless Eden.? {She nods.) 
Well, this is serious. No wise guardians, old friends 
of the family, uncles or things.? Nothing like a mas- 
culine relative to shoo along the victims. 

Betty. 

Nothing in the male line nearer than a distant 

cousin in Ohio. ^ 

Jack. 

How did a woman with four daughters come to 

move to such a place as this? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 45 

Betty. 
My father lost all his mone^^ before he died ten 
years ago. My grandfather left this place to my 
mother, and there was nothing to do but move here. 
Each of us is named for an aunt that has given each 
of us an education, and sent us her cast off clothes. 
Jack. 
But you showed yourself a pretty good little man- 
ager the way you helped your chum get married. 
Can't you do something for your sisters? 
Betty. 
In marriage there must be two. I can only fur- 
nish the bride. Oh, say, why don't you marry one 
of them.? Kitty is pretty, and Peggy is clever, and 
Dolly is — is — is good natured. 
Jack. 
And 3'ou.'^ {With a smile.) 
Betty. 
{Arclily.) 
Oh, I'm not offering myself. 

Jack. 
Unfortunately I am not a marrying man. 
Betty. 
{Indignantly.) 
I hope you don't think that I was liinting. 

Jack. 
Certainly not. I won't say that I'm not inter- 
ested in a girl I've rescued from imprisonment, 
though. B^^^^, 

{Jumping up.) 
Sh ! If my mother ever finds that out ! I'm going 
to earn my fine and pay you, though, if I have to go 
out scrubbing to do it. 



46 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 
(Rising.) 
Never mention it again. 

Betty. 

By the way, if I should get ten dollars' worth of 

scrubbing and scrub it out, I wouldn't know where 

to send it to you. You never told me your name. 

And I couldn't catch it that day in the police court. 

Jack. 

Prisoners don't have names; only numbers. 

Betty. 

You won't tell me? What if my mother comes in? 

What shall I say? 

•^ Jack. 

(Taking both her hands playfully.) 

Tell her— tell her— 

Mrs. Darling enters from U. L. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Betty, whose motor is that at the door? (Sees the 
strange young man familiarly holding Betty's 
hand.) Well, what is all this? 

Betty. 
(At a perfect loss to know what to say.) 
Oh, mamma — is — is that you? 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Coming down stage, sternly.) 

It certainly is. (Glaring at Jack.) And who is 

this person, if you please? 

Jack. 

(Floundering, hut with an attempt to pass it off.) 

Who, I? „ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Yes. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 47 

Betty. 

(Pointing to Jack.) 

Who is this.^ ^, -^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Exactly. Who is this.^ {Then with a sudden 
flash of inspiration.) No! It isn't — is it.'^ It is! 
{Rushing delightedly toward him and grabbing his 
hands. Jack and Betty are dumbfounded.) My 
dear Eddie ! How stupid of me ! But then, as I 
haven't seen you since you were a baby, it isn't sur- 
prising that I didn't know you. 

Jack. 
{Taken off his feet and dumb with astonishment.) 
Er — no, of course it isn't, is it.^^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
My dear boy, aren't you going to kiss your aunt.'^ 

Jack. 

{Immediately deciding to play the game and meet 

the situation.) 

You bet I am! {Throws his arms around her and 

kisses her.) ^ 

^ . Betty. 

Goodness ! , r t-. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Why didn't you call me, Betty, and tell me that 

Eddie was lierc? _, 

Betty. 

Wliy, I was — {swallowing hard) I was just going 

to. ^ ^ 

Jack. 

Isn't this corking.? 

Mrs. Darling. 
{Happily excited.) 
Wait until I call the girls. They will be delighted. 
{She rushes up to door L., calling.) Girls, girls. 



48 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Come and see who's here! {Disappears for a mo- 
ment or t-wo.) ^ 

^ Jack. 

(Quickly, to Betty, down R. C.) 

Who am I? ' 

Betty. 

Mother's nephew, Edgar Darlmg, from Oberlin, 

^hi«- Jack. 

(Repeating.) 
Mother's nephew, Edgar Darhng, from Oberhn, 
Ohio. Righto ! Plaj^ the game. Cousin Betty. 

Betty. 

You'll ^ei caue^ht. , 

^ ^ Jack. 

What will you bet I don't get all your sisters en- 

ffaejed before I do.^ „ 

o o Betty. 

It can't be done. ^ 

Jack. 

What will you bet.? 

Betty. 

I'm off betting for good. 

Jack. 

One last bet. -r, 

Betty. 

I haven't any money to bet. 

Jack. 

Bet something else. 

Betty. 

What.? ^ 

Jack. 

I'll bet you three kisses, one for each sister. 

Betty. » 

Goodness ! ^ 

Jack. 

Are you game? Think of tlie poor girls. 



BE^rTY'S LAST BET 49 

Betty. 
All right ; for their sakes, then. 

Mrs. Darling re-enters U. L., all smiles, with Peggy 
and Dolly following. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Come, girls. Here's your Cousin Eddie. Give 

him a royal welcome. 

Peggy and Dolly. 

(Together.) 

Oh, Cousin Eddie, I am glad to see you. 

How do you do. Cousin Eddie? 

(Mrs. Darling comes down L. Betty is at R. 

Jack is at C. Peggy comes down on his R. Dolly 

on his L.) 

Jack. 

Are these my cousins? 

]\Irs. Darling. 

(Beaming.) 

Yes ; Peggy and Dolly. 

Jack. 

I must kiss my Cousin Peggy. (He does so.) 

And you, too, Cousin Doll}-. (Kisses Dolly; then 

with an arm around each of them.) I'm ever so glad 

I came. 

(The girls are delighted; ^Irs. Darling beaming, 

and Betty laughing.) 

Kitty appears at door R. 

Kitty. 
What's all the row about? 

Betty. 
Come on, Kitty. It's your turn. 

(Kitty comes down beside Peggy.) 



50 BEir^ S LAST BET 

Peggy and Dolly. 
llei-o's Cousin Eddie. 

Kitty. 

{Ddighied.) 

Oh, how hnely ! ^ 

Jack. 

{Without letting the other girls go.) 

May I kiss you, Cousin Betty .f^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
Why, of course. 

(He takes a step forward and does so.) 

Jack. 
(With his arms full of girls.) 
Isn't this a lovely family party .^ 
(All appear to agree with this thoroughly except 
Betty, who now wears a little froimi, as if she has 
begun to feel that Jack is overdoing it a trifle.) 
Curtain. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



The Second Act. 

Scene: The same. That afternoon. 

As the curtain rises sounds of laughter and talking 
come from off L. and a rattling noise norv and 
then of silver on the plates, etc. 

Betty runs in laughing, holding her napkin in her 
mouth as though to stifle her laughter. Slie throics 
herself on the sofa L. in a convulsion of merriment. 
She has pretended to be choking and coughing as 
she came in. Presently Peggy follozcs nith a glass 
of icater, looking concerned. 

Peggy. 
(At C.) 
Here, drink this, Betty. It will stop your cougli- 
ino^. (Going to sofa and offering it to Betty.) 

Betty. 

(Through her laughter.) 

I don't want it. I made an excuse to get away, 

that's all. 

Peggy. 

Well, I don't wonder you're laughing. Isn't 

Cousin Edgar amusing.? 

Betty. 

Oh, he's wonderful. Wonderful! 

Peggy. 
(Puts water on desk up L.) 
And so charming. He doesn't act a bit like a man 
51 



52 BETTY'S LASl^ BET 

who's going to be a professor of — of — oh, you know 

— digging up old things. 

Betty. 

Do jou mean archaeology.? 

Peggy. 

Yes, that's it. 

Betty. 

Is that Cousin Edgar's specialty.? 
Peggy. 
(Goes over and sits above Betty on sofa.) 
Yes, Aunt Katherine wrote and told mamma. He's 
going on a digging expedition to ancient Greece. 
Betty. 
(Thinking of Jack.) 
He ought to know^ that. 

Peggy. 
What did you say? 

Betty'. 
(Recovering herself.) 
I say he ought to knoAv his business. 

Peggy. 
I wish he could make us a longer visit. 

Betty. 
You're not getting a crush on him.? 

Peggy. 
No — but — (with a sigh) I sliall never love any- 
body. 

Betty. 

Here. Here. Here! (Turning Peggy toward 
her.) Have you a guilty secret, too.? 
Peggy. 
(With a gush of emotion.) 
Oh, Betty, if I tell you something, will you prom- 
ise to keep it a secret.? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 53 

Betty. 

{Holding up her right hand.) 

Word of honor, word of honor, word of honor, 

amen ! „ 

Peggy. 

It's awfully hard to tell. 

Betty. 
What'll you bet I can't guess .^ You're in love. 

Peggy. 
How did you know.^^ 

Betty. 

Just a hunch when I saw you look like a dying 

calf. Who is it? 

Peggy. 

You'll never guess. 

Betty. 

I'll bet my silk umbrella against your flesh crepe 

blouse that I can. _ 

Peggy. 

No betting. „ 

° Betty. 

It's— It's— It's— give up. 

Peggy, 
It's the Honorable Hamilton Moriarity. 

Betty. 
Goodness! {Hops over on the end of the sofa.) 
It sounds like the Ancient Order of Hibernians ! 

Peggy. 

He's the youngest member of the Legislature and 

a wonderful orator. _, 

Betty. 

(Sitting up again.) 

Where did i/ou ever hear him orate .^ 

Peggy. 

From the end of a train just before election last 

fall. 



54 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
Mj word! Rather a long distance acquaintance. 

Pkggv. 
Just the same he saw I liad on that screaminxr 
green hat, and he kept looking at me while he was 
speaking, oh so eloquently! And he kept on look- 
ing at me, and it gave me such a thrill. It was love 
at first sight. (She is looking very sentimental. 

Rises and s:oes C) ^ 

^ Betty. 

{Looking at her and nodding.) 

I'll say it was. And you didn't meet him at all. 

Peggy. 
No, his train had to pull out for the next station. 

Betty. 
{Going over to Peggy, R. C.) 
What'U you bet he never knew you were alive ; 
you and your green hat.? 

Peggy. 
He did because he took a little bunch of pansies out 
of his buttonhole and threw them at me. {Pulling at 
a tiny chain, she brings up a locket from inside her 
blouse and opens it.) Look! I pressed a couple of 
them. They are in here! See.'^ 

Betty. 
Pansies for tlioughts. How romantic ! 

Peggy. 
{Ecstatically.) 
Oh, Betty. I think of him all the time. 

Betty. 
What's the good of wasting your time thinking 
of someone you'll never see again .^^ 



BETTY'S LAST BET 55 

Peggy. 
How can I help it? 

Betty. 
Think of somebody else. 

Peggy. 

I can't. Oil, if you could onlj' hear him make a 

political speecli. _, 

Betty. 

What is he? A Democrat or a Republican? 

Peggy. 
I can't remember now. But when he speaks you 
feel that the other party is a worm. 

Betty. 
Does the family know? 

Peggy. 
No ; I haven't told a soul but you. 

Betty. 

Well, Peg, you might as well throw away those 

pansies. You can't hang on to a forlorn hope until 

the Honorable Moriarity campaigns for the next 

election. _, 

Peggy. 

Why not? 

Betty. 

Why, by that time he'll have forgotten you are 

on this planet. 

Xoise of several voices talking at once as Mrs. 
Darling, Jack, Kitty, Dolly and Percy eiiter 
from the clining room, L. Jack has Kitty on his 
R. and ^Irs. Darling on his L., his arm around 
each of them, Percy and Dolly bring up at the 
rear. Everybody is beaming. Apparently Jack 
has been making himself agreeable and entertaining. 



56 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 
(As they come down C.) 
Now, aunty, confess that I don't look one bit as 
I did when you last saw me when I was five years old. 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Taking his shoulders and turning him toward her.) 

Yes — umm — yes ; there's a little expression — no, 

you don't look like either your mother or your 

father. _ 

Jack. 

Yes, queer, isn't it.? Still, I have their disposition. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Which.? 

Jack. 

Both — er — that is, I have my moods. Sometimes 

mother will say, "Now you're your father's own 

boy." And then when Dad's sore on me he'll say, 

"That's your mother all over again." Funny, isn't 

it.? (Betty bursts into a roar of laughter at this 

fib. Jack turns to her in mock surprise.) What are 

you laughing at, Elizabeth.? (Turning back to Mrs. 

Darling.) That one is Elizabeth, isn't it? 

Mrs. Darling. 
Yes, Betty for short. (Jack turns up C. where 
Betty is. Peggy is over R. of table. Percy has 
strolled over by the doorway and looks out on the 
porch. Dolly is down on her mother s L. but star- 
ing up at Percy, who turns now and then and 
catches her eye on him, but is unembarrassed and 
turns his eyes away immediately.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
(Beckons Kitty to come to her.) 
Kitty, is this the way to entertain Mr. Went- 
worth .? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 57 

Kitty. 

(Verij softly to her mother.) 
I'd rather entertain Cousin Edgar. 

Peggy. 
ril entertain Cousin Eddie. 
Betty. 
(^Overhearing.) 
No, /'w going to entertain Cousin Ed. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Well, we can't all entertain Ned. Dolly.? (Turns 

and sees Dolly at her L. looking at Percy.) Dolly, 

come here. Dolly. 

(Coming to her.) 

Yes, mamma. _ _ _^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

(In a lower tone so that the others may not hear.) 

Stop staring at Mr. Wentworth. He'll think 

you're idiotic. ^ 

•^ Dolly. 

(With a spontaneous hurst of feeling.) 

Oh, mamma, he has such adorable eyes. 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Sternly.) 

Has he? Well, his adorable eyes are all for your 

sister Katherine. Y"ou had better remember that. 

He doesn't know that you are on earth. 

(Dolly turns up stage disconsolately. The other 

girls are hovering around Jack, R. C.) 

Jack. 
(Indicating Percy.) 
Who is this harmless youth crushed on.? 

^^... Betty r/r?r7 Peggy. 

Kitty. 



58 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 

{To Kitty.) 

What.? And you leave him flat Hke that! Here, 

now; take him right in the drawing room and — and 

— {faking- and fumbling for a word) — show him the 

family album! Kitty. 

{Pettishly.) 

Oh, the idea. ^ 

Jack. 

{In a loud voice to everybody os he tries to get rid 
of them.) 
All of you go with Mr. Wentworth into tlie draw- 
ing room. I know you want to see Kitty's pictures 
when she was a little girl. 

Percy. 
Yes, I should love to, but — 

Jack. 
Sure you do. You see, Mr. Wentworth, I am the 
head of the house today; the only man in the familj'. 

Percy. 

{Coming down to Mrs. Darling.) 

I suppose I should be going. My uncle was to 

come on the one o'clock train. He will wonder 

where I am. _ ^ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Do stay a_ little longer. Kitty is so delighted to 
have you. We all are. It is so neighborly of you. 
The girls are all crazy to have 3^ou stay. {He looks 
around at them; they are perfectly mute, all eyes 
for Jack.) Aren't you delighted to have Mr. Went- 
worth with us, girls? {They all make assent.) 

Percy. 
It's — it's — so pleasant here, and it's so lonesome 



BETTY'S LAST BET 59 



over at our big place. And — and — well, I will stay 

a little longer. 

Jack. 

(Coming over and slapping him on the shoulder.) 

That's right, old chap. Sta}^ as long as you like. 

We're all tickled to death. Aunty likes you. I'm 

strong for you. And the girls are crazy about you. 

{The girls shyly dissent from this; all hat Dolly.) 

Yes, they are; but they're ashamed to own it. Go 

right in the drawing room now and let them make a 

fuss over you. {Leading him to the parlor door.) 

Go in there and sit down and enjoy yourself. Have 

a ciejarette. „ 

^ Percv. 

I — I don't smoke. ^ 

Jack. 

Oh, don't you.^ Well, then, just go in and sit down. 

Only go in. {Shoves Percy off R., then turns to 

Mrs. Darling and the girls.) Now, then, aunty, 

take the girls in there and all enjoy yourselves. {As 

they pass in order.) Go on, Dolly. Show him the 

picture of you when you were six months old, fat 

and bald. {Passes her in.) Peggy, you make her 

show it to him; and a few snapshots of you. {Passes 

her in.) Go on now. Cousin Kitty. Tell him a funny 

'^""''y- Kitty. 

{Hanging hack protestingly.) 

Butldon't^ Jack. 

{In her ear, passing her in.) 

Go on. The Wentworths are millionaires. {Turn- 
ing to Mrs. Darling.) Make her entertain him, 
aunty. {Shores the mother after them, gr(d)S the 
door knoh and shuts the door, holding it closed for 
a moment. Then leans up against it as if exhausted 
after all his fihhing.) Whew! 



60 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
(^Laughing appreciatively.) 
Well, that xcas clever. 

Jack. 
Talk about a strain ! If your mother asks me any 
more questions about my family, I shall cut and run. 

Betty. 
You've sidestepped very cleverly so far. 

Jack. 
Where do I live when I'm at home, Cousin Betty? 

Betty. 
Oh, my goodness, I've forgotten the place. Some- 
where in Ohio and you're an only child. 

Jack. 

{Repeating.) 
Somewhere in Ohio and I'm an only child. 

Betty. 
You can't keep this up. 

Jack. 
I shall keep it up until I win that bet. 

Betty. 
But if mother should catch you, and she's sure to. 

Jack. 

Leave aunty to me. 

Edgar Darling appears on the porch at the door. 
He is a small, serious young man, wearing dark 
clothes and horn spectacles and carries a suitcase and 
a bag, both large. He look's rather travel stained 
and his clothes need pressing. He knocks on the 
side of the doorway. They do not hear him. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 61 

Betty. 

I nearly choked at the table, the way you fibbed 
your way through everything. 

(Edgar knocks again. They are so interested in 
each other that they pay no attention.) 

Jack. 
It did take a bit of nerve to deal with your moth- 
er's questions. „ 

^ Betty. 

If she only guessed. Whew! 

(Edgar knocks again; still no attention.) 

Jack. 
What do you imagine she'd do if she knew.^ Have 
me arrested for obtaining a dinner under false pre- 
tences .'^ _, 

Betty. 

Of course. And she'd be perfectly right, too. 
We don't know a thing about you, you know. Even 
/ don't. {Going ov€r L. C. to Jack.) 

Edgar. 

{Rather timidly, but in a good strong voice,) 

I beg your pardon ! 

Jack. 

{Turns and sees him.) 

Eh? „ 

Betty. 

What's that.^ ^ 

Edgar. 

{Coming into the room.) 

I don't suppose you heard me knock. 

Jack. 
{Suddenly serious.) 
No, we didn't. 



62 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
(To Jack.) 
Well, look who's here! 

Edgar. 
Is- this the residence of Mrs. DarHiiir? 

Jack and Betty. 

Who? 

Edgar. 

Mrs. DarHnff. _ 

Betty. 

(Grabbing Jack's arm and speaking low.) 

I have a horrible thought. 

Jack. 
(Same business.) 
So have I. (They look at Edgar, who is stand- 
ins' down R. C.) ^ 

^ Betty. 

What is your name? 

Edgar. 

Edgar Pettingill Darling. 

Betty. 

(To Jack, significantly, meaning ''It is Cousin 

Edgar:') 

It is. 

Jack. 

Yes, isn't it? 

Edgar. 

(With a beaming smile at Betty.) 

Is this — can this be Cousin Elizabeth? (Betty 

is toa flabbergasted to know what to do.) 

Jack. 
(With a warning gesture.) 
Hush! (To Edgar.) Cousin EHzabcth? What 
do you mean by Cousin Elizabeth? Are you ad- 
dressing me? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 63 



Edgar. 
No, no, of course not. I thought that this young 
hid}- might be my Cousin EHzabeth. 
Jack. 
{Trying to thinl: of something to say.) 
My dear friend. You — you — does she look like 
your Cousin Elizabeth.^ 

Edgar. 
Well, I can't say as to that. I've never seen her. 
Jack. 
{Going over to him.) 
But, my dear fellow, you can't go around but- 
ting into people's houses and claiming every young 
woman as your cousin. First thing you know you'll 
find yourself in trouble. 

Edgar. 
{Becoming alarmed.) 
I wonder if it is possible that I have taken the 

wrong; street.'* 

^ Jack. 

You certainly have. 

Edgar. 

I am on my way to excavate one of the ancient 

buried cities of Greece, so I — 

Jack. 

Then you are entirely off the track. This town 
is dead, but it isn't buried yet. 
Edgar. 

No, I mean tliat I am sailing from New York the 
day after tomorrow, and I — {Putting down his lug- 

S'^S'-) Jack. 

{Interrupting.) 
Well, the boats don't leave from here. 



64 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Edgar. 

(Getting more and more dazed and nervous at Jack's 

attitude.) 

I know, but I — 

Jack. 

Your mistake was in leaving New York. A little 
absent-minded, aren't you.^ 

Edgar. 

But mj mother wrote my Aunt Mary and Aunt 

Marj^ wrote my mother that if I would stop off and 

make her a visit — __ 

Jack. 

Visit ? Why, I thought you were going to excavate. 

Edgar. 

Well, I am, but — 

Jack. 

Don't you think it's going to be pretty hot work 

at this time of year? ^ 

•^ Edgar. 

Y^es, but — ^ 

Jack. 

Well, anyway, you have my good wishes. Good 

luck to you, old man. (Grabs his hand and shakes 

it; with the other he hands him one of his bags.) 

Edgar. 

But if I could see my Aunt ^lary — 

Jack. 

She'd be mighty proud of you, I'm sure. You 

ought to bring her a ruin or two as a souvenir. 

(Handing him his other piece of luggage.) 

Edgar. 

(Now thoroughly impatient and. losing his temper.) 

Say, look here, sir ! I want to see my Aunt Mary. 

Jack. 

I don't blame you. If I had an Aunt Mary I 

should want to see her, too. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 65 

Edgar. 

( Crossing him and speaking to Betty, zcho has taken 

refuge on th£ sofa and is trijing to keep a 

straight face.) 

Perhaps you will be kind enougli to tell me— 

Jack. 
Oh, that isn't your Aunt Mary. 
Edgar. 
(A?igriJf/ turning to him.) 
Will you kindl3^ mind 3^our business, sir! 

Jack. 
My business.^ What do you mean, my business .'' 

Edgar. 
I mean that I'm talking to this young lady. 
(Turning to Betty again.) 
Jack. 
Yes, but my dear fellow, 3'ou've never been in- 
troduced. Edgar. 

(To Betty.) 
I beg 30ur paixlon. My name is — 

Jack. 
Yes, Edgar Pettingill. We know. 
Edgar. 
(Turning to him, very much annoyed.) 
No, no. Darling. Darling! 
Jack. 
Please don't call me darling. I hate pet names. 

Edgar. 
I am speaking to this young lady. 

Jack. 
You musn't call her darling. It's too famihar. 

Betty. 
What is it, Mr. Pettingill? 



66 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Edgar. 

{Correcting her.) 

Darlinff. _. 

° Betty. 

I'm afraid jou will have to excuse me. 
Jack. 
{Taking his arm.) 
Mr. Pettingill, it is a matter of regret, but we 
shall have to ask 3^ou to leave. 
Edgar. 
But if vou would only — 

Jack. 
Did you see the motor car in front of the house.'' 

Edgar. 
Yes. Jack. 

{Veri/ gravel^/.) 
The owner is in this house. 
Betty. 
'{Nodding as if this were unusual.) 

Yes, that's true. ^ 

Jack. 

He is at this moment arranging certain family 
matters. I wouldn't advise you to interrupt. 
Edgar. 
But if you would only tell me — 

Jack. 
No, no. I'm not at liberty to betray family se- 
crets. T^ 

Edgar. 

But if jou would direct me. 
Jack. 
{Turning him up stage.) 
You take the road straight to your left and keep 
going. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 67 

Edgar. 
But that leads to the station. 

Jack. 
Of course. You want the train back to New York, 
don't you.^ 

liiDGAR. 

But I don't want to leave without seeing Aunt 

Mary. t 

•^ Jack. 

Oh, she'll understand. 

Edgar. 
( Turning at the door. ) 
I wonder if the station master would know any- 
thing about my aunt? 

Jack. 
He is a very peculiar man — takes very little in- 
terest in other people's affairs. I wouldn't bother 

him if I were you. ^^ 

Edgar. 

I know, but if — 

Jack. 

You wait for me at the station. I will come down 
and help you find your aunt. I have an idea that 
is the family that moved to Hartford last week. If 
I remember, Darling was the name. I'm sure you 
will find a Darling family in Hartford. {Getting 
him out on the porch.) Follow the road to the left. 
You can get a train for Hartford every half hour. 
Good-bye. Sorry you made such a mistake and 
wasted your valuable time. Good luck with your 
ruins. Ta, ta ! ( Waves his hand; then comes in ex- 
hausted.) Whew! Getting him off to ancient 

Greece is some job! 

Betty. 

But that is my real Cousin Edgar. This is awful. 

What if he comes back.^ 



68 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 
He won't. I've got him so discouraged he'll be 
glad to go back to New York and wait for the boat. 

Betty. 
What if my mother finds out? 

Jack. 
If I'm to win my bet I'll have to take a chance. 

Betty. 

That motor of yours out in front will get mamma 

guessing. 

Jack. 

I don't care. I want those kisses. 

Betty. 

I don't believe 3'ou will ever win them. (Sits in 

chair L. of table.) 

Jack. 

Won't 1? Wait and see. 

Betty. 

Well, I'm waitino\ 

' '^ Jack. 

(Comes down C. and L. of Betty.) 

Where are all the men, anyway.? Why, in a house 

like this with four pretty girls in it, there should be 

a waiting list. „ 

We are poor. That's our trouble. No man worth 

having wants to marry us. 

Jack. 

No man wants to marry anybody, if he's left to 

himself. -, 

Betty. 

Why do they, then? 

Jack. 

Why, the girl's father or brother or uncle or some 

male relative scares them into it. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 69 

Betty. 
Oh, I don't believe that. 

Jack. 
When a fellow hears the words, "What are jour 
intentions toward our little girl," he weakens, and 
then it's Ta, ta, de duni ; dum de day. Da, day, 
de de, dum de da! (Sings first strains of the Men- 
delssohn Wedding March.) 

Betty. 

Really? 

^ Jack. 

Sure ! That's what you need around here ; a male 

relative to bring them up to the scratch. 

Betty. 

(Rising.) 

We've first got to find the men. 

Jack. 

We've got one in there. And he would be easy. 

He's so shy I could scare him into anything. 

Betty. 

He's crazy about Kitty, but she won't look at a 

boy three years younger than herself. 

Jack. 

What's his name? I didn't catch it. 

Betty. 

Wentworth. Percy Wentwortli. 

Jack. 

Wentworth, Wentworth? No relation to Colonel 

Richard Wentworth of the National Guard? 

Betty. 

Percy is his nephew. ^ 

Jack. 

The poor fish ! Why, that's one of the wealthiest 

families in the State. 



70 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 

They've just bought the old Robinson place on the 

other side of town. Ever since Percy saw the girls 

In church he has been crazy about Kitty. 

Jack. 

And she is cool to him.^ 

Betty. 

Ice. ^ 

Jack. 

I'll soon fix matters. 

Betty. 

(Going closer to him.) 

Mother will forgive you anything if you'll do that. 

Jack. 

I am a male member of the family and I — 

Betty. 

What? 

Jack. 

For the time being. 

Betty. 

Oh, that's better. 

Jack. 

And I'm going to win that bet, Betty. 
Betty. 

(Tauntingly.) 
Y e s, you are ! 

The parlor door opens and Kitty enters. 
Kitty. 
Why don't you two come in here.^* 

Jack. 
Percy doesn't want to see any more of us. 
Kitty. 
(Going up to the porch door.) 
What I want to know is who owns that big motor 



BETTY'S LAST BET 71 

that's been standing in front of the house since be- 
fore lunch. j^^j, 

(Joining her.) 
I wonder. Betty 

( Following. ) 
Yes, so do I. j^^j. 

(Innocently.) 

It must be Percy's. ,^ 

^ Kitty. 

No, he says it isn't. See, tliere's his Httle run- 
about. 
Peggy enters from R., closing the door behind her. 

Peggy. 
Kitty, mamma wants to know what you are run- 
ning away for.? Kitty. 

(Coming down C.) 
I can't stand that stupid boy any longer. Besides, 
I want to get acquainted with Cousin Eddie. 
Peggy. 
(Going R.C.) 
Well, so do I. I'm not going to stay in there. 
Percy Wentworth didn't come to see me, anyway. 
Jack. 
(Coming down R.) 
I'm very flattered; but what's the matter with 
Percy.? He looks like a very worthy 3^outh to me. 
Kitty. 
Who cares about worthiness? All he can do is to 
blush and stammer Y'^es or No. Mother has had to 
do all the talking in there. 

Jack. 
Yes, but think of the Wentworth money. Mrs. 



72 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Percy Wentworth will be able to wear imported 
gowns and spend the winLers in Palm Beach. 
Betty. 
(Listening over K.) 
Mother is calling jou, Kitty. 

The parlor door opens and Mrs. Darling enters, 
closing the door behind her. 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Heatedly.) 

What in the world is keeping you all.'^ Kitty, I'm 

ashamed of you. „ 

-^ Betty. 

So am I, mother. She's treating that poor chap 

^^l^ly- Jack. 

(Gravely shaking his head.) 
It's a pity. And I'm afraid my Cousin Kitty is 
losing the greatest chance of her life. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Exactly what I say ! 
(Crossing to sofa L. where Jack joins her. Betty 
is up L. C. Peggy near table R. C.) 
Jack. 
Aunty, we must bring this girl to reason. (He 
sits above Mrs. Darling on the sofa.) 
Mrs. Darling. 
It's high time. Peggy, what are you hanging 
around for? Go out into the kitchen and help 
Hannah. p^^^Y. 

(Pouting.) 
Oh, mamma! ^^^^ Darling. 

(Sternly.) 
Do as I bid you ! (Pkggy goes out L. reluctantly.) 



BETTY'S LAST BET 73 

You can see, Edgar, what a trial my life is with 
four stubborn, self-willed girls. 

Jack. 
{Pretending great sympathy.) 
Yes, indeed, aunty. I can see what you are up 
against. I'm amazed at Katherine. Here is a per- 
fectly good rich young man hanging around her, and 
she doesn't even give him so much as a pleasant look. 
(Kitty is sulking down R. C. Betty, up near the 
desk, is highly amused.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
(To Kitty.) 
Do you hear that. Miss.? 

Kitty. 
Yes, but Edgar is going to Greece. What does 
it matter to him whether I am satisfied or not.'^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
Satisfied.? If you think that after you are mar- 
ried you wiilbe satisfied with any man, you are very 

much mistaken. 

Kitty. 

I'd be willing to be miserable with some one I 

loved; some one who was my ideal. 

(Jack and Mrs. Darling exchange whispers.) 

Betty. 

This chap is so young you can train him to be 

your ideal. 

•^ Kitty. 

Thank you, that's too big a job. 

' Jack. 
(With a wink at Betty, he rises and goes L. C.) 
Katherine, as the only male representative of the 
family, I shall now speak very seriously to you. 



74 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 

Listen now, Kitty. _ 

Kitty. 

(Pouting.) 

Well, go ahead. I'm listening. 

Jack. 

Ideal men don't grow on every bush. Neither do 

rich suitors. I suppose what you want is a master- 

KlTTY. 



ful man.? 
Of course 



Jack. 

(In an oratorical manner.) 
Which means that he will rule the roost; that you 
will be a slave instead of a queen. If you marry this 
modest youth, your will will be law. You will have 
beautiful gowns, smart motor cars and a magnificent 
home. And then, Katherine, look what you can do 
for your sisters. ^^^^ Darling. 

(Beginning to weep.) 
Yes, your poor little sisters. 
Kitty. 
(Much impressed hy this appeal, and winking hack 
lier own tears.) 
I do want to help the girls : but I'd rather be 
poor all my life than marry some one I don't love. 
Jack. 
Bett}^, I hope you will never be as selfish as" your 

sister. „ 

Betty. 

Try to love him, Kitty. 

Mrs. DarlIng. 

(Sniffling in her handkerchief.) 

She won't listen to you, Edgar. The chance of 

her life, and she turns up her nose at it. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 75 

Kitty. 

(Getting angry now.) 

You're all taking a lot for granted. He's never 

proposed to nie. , ^ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Because yow don't give him any encouragement. 

Jack. 
Exactly! Why don't you lead him on.^ 

Kitty. 
I don't want to. Anyway, he's such a boy he 
doesn't know his own mind. 

Jack. 
Ah, then you should know it for him. {Going 
ox^er and putting his arm around her playfully.) 
With such pretty eyes as yours, Kitty, you should 
be able to lead a man on. 

Kitty. 
(Flirting a bit with those eyes.) 
Well, if he were like you, and — 

Betty. 
(Not pleased at the picture she interrupts as she 
comes down.) 
Come on, come on, get on with the war. 

Mrs. Darling. 
(Taken up with her own troubles.) 
When I think of all the years of pinching and 
scrimping, and now — (Breaks down and buries her 
face in her handkerchief .) 

Kitty. 
I do want to help, mamma, but he is such a ninny. 

Jack. 
Believe me, a rich ninny is not to be sneezed at. 



76 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Kitty. 
Well, even if I could make up my mind to marry 
him, he would never come to the point. He hasn't 
got spunk enough. 

I'll get his spunk up. 

All. 

How.? 

Jack. 

Don't you know how? 

Kitty. 

No. _ 

Hetty. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Yes, for goodness sake, tell us. 

Jack. 

Make him jealous. 

All. 

Jealous ? 

Jack. 

Yes. No man is thinking seriously of marriage 
until he gets a few twinges of jealousy. He may 
be impressed with a girl ; fond of her ; in love with 
her. But he won't get beyond the flirting stage un- 
less you arouse his jealousy of a rival. 
Kitty. 

Who would Perc}^ Went worth be jealous of in 

this dead old town.? ^ 

Jack. 

(A little stumped, but a bright idea coming.) 

Why — er — er — of — Of me ! 

All. 

Of you.? Betty. 

(A little hurt at this idea.) 

Do you mean to say that 2/ou want to marry 

Kitty.? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



// 



Jack. 

(Gallantly.) 

I can think of nothing that would give me more 

happiness. B^^^y. 

(Miffed.) 

Well, the idea! 

Jack. 

In fact, I'd like to move to Salt Lake City and 

marry all four of you. But I have to think of my 

excavations. I'm wedded to my ruins. 

Kitty. 

I don't get the point. 

Betty. 

Neither do I. _ . „ 

Mrs. Darxixg. 

I'm a little bit in the dark too, Edgar. 

Jack. 

Why, the thing to do is to let Percy think that 
I am madly in love with Kitty, and that I have come 
liere from — from — ( Floundering. ) 
Betty. 
(On his L.) 
From Ohio. j^^^ 

(Catching the word.) 

From Ohio — I have come from Ohio ; interrupted 

my journey to Italy — 

Betty. 

To Greece. ^ 

Jack. 

Yes, yes, I mean Greece, of course. Interrupted 

my journey to Greece in order to propose. You 

must tell him that I — Wait ! He might overhear us. 

We had better discuss this a little further from that 

parlor. 



78 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Mrs. Darling. 
{Rising and going to the door U. L.) 
Come upstairs to my room. 

Jack. 

{Following.) 

Righto ! Come on, Kitty. You too, Betty. This 

is a family conference. 

Betty. 

A family conference? Shall I call Peggy and 

JOolly.? ,, ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Peggy's busy. j^^^ 

And Dolly's doing her bit holding down the ninny. 

Come on, aunty. We'll settle Percy's liash, and all 

live happily ever after. {Exits with his arm around 

Mrs. Darling.) _. 

Betty. 

Isn't he wonderful? 

Kitty. 

{With a little determined air.) 

He certainly is. And I am going to profit by his 

advice one way or another. {She runs out U. L.) 

Betty. 
{Thoughtfully.) 
"One way or another?" I wonder what she meant 
by that? Oh, this is a scream! 

Betty runs after Kitty laughing, and almost 
collides with Peggy, who is entering from U. L. wear- 
ing a kitchen apron. 

Peggy. 

Where are you all going? 

Betty. 
Up in mamma's room. Cousin Edgar is calling a 



BETTY'S LAST BET 79 

meeting of the Matrimonial Committee. You keep 
your eye on Dolly and Percy. {Runs out U. L.) 

Peggy. 
{Aggrieved.) 
Well, I like that! I'm going to strike. {Tears 
off apron, tosses it in the closet down L. and is run- 
ning up to follotc the family, when there is a knock 
at the door of the porch.) 

It is Hamilton Moriarity, looking very hand- 
some and stunning. Peggy stops. 

Hamilton. 
I beg your pardon, but I wondered if I could in- 
quire if — (Peggy has come to the door and they rec- 
ognize each other. He breaks off.) 

You! -, 

Peggy. 

Y^ou! 

{They stare for a moment, then he recovers first.) 

Hamilton. 
Is it possible that you are the — 

Peggy. 
Yes, I am. And you.^ 

Hamilton. 

Y^es, I'm the man. 

X EGGY. 

I mean you're the one who made that beautiful 
speech last fall at the station .^^ 
Hamilton. 

Was it beautiful? It should have been. For I 
was thinking of you every moment. 

Peggy. 
{Delightedly.) 
No, not really? 



80 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Hamilton. 
Or rather 1 was thinking of that Httle green hat. 
Peggy. 
{Disappointedly.) 

^"* Hamilton. 

{Gallantly.) 

And of course the pretty face under it. 

Peggy. 

Won't you come in.^ 

Hamilton. 

{Coming into the room.) 

Thank you. -^ 

•^ Peggy. 

{Feeling rather shy, hut happy.) 

Won't — won't you sit down.? {Indicates chair L. 

of table.) T-T 

' ^ Hamilton. 

Thank you. {He pulls the chair out and turns it 
facing her as she sits on the sofa.) 
Peggy. 
It's — it's funny that you should happen to be in 
our little town again. Are you going to make an- 
other speech? -._. 

Hamilton. 

No, I won't have to make any more speeches here 
until I ask the folks to vote for me again. 
Peggy. 
But you do speak in the State House.? 

Hamilton. 
Oh, yes, when the other fellows let me. 

Peggy. 
I expect you put them all in the shade. 

Hamilton. 
Well, I don't know about that. I haven't blown 



BETTY'S LAST BET 81 

the rest of them off the map with my eloquence yet. 

It isn't politics that brings me to Stockbriclge today. 

I came to see Colonel Richard Wentworth. 

Peggy. 

Oh, he doesn't live here. 

Hamilton. 

No. »But I believe his nephew is here, and I 

thought he might give me the information I am 

lookin^c for. _, 

'^ Peggy. 

Yes, he is here — this afternoon. 

Hamilton. 

His man gave me to understand that he is a very 

frequent visitor here. 

Peggy. 

Yes, he is. 

Hamilton. 

Well, I don't blame him ; especially If he has ever 

seen you as / saw you In that pretty green hat. 

Peggy. 

( Quickly. ) 

Oh, he doesn't come to see me. 

Hamilton. 

What's the matter with him.?^ Is he blind .^ 

Peggy. 

You are Irish, aren't you.^ 

Hamilton. 

There's no blarney in that. 

Peggy. 

Shall I call Mr. Percy Wentworth.? He's in the 

parlor. (Rising and starting to cross to R.) 

Hamilton. 
(Also rising and intercepting her.) 
No, wait. I'm in no liurry now. I'd rather talk 



82 BEirY'S LAST BET 

to jou. I wonder if you knew that I threw a bunch 
of pansies at your feet as my train pulled out that 

•^' Peggy. 

Yes, I thought perhaps you meant them for me. 

Hamilton. 

I hoped they would keep me in your mind until 

they withered. ^ 

Peggy. 

(Unconsciously clasping the locket.) 

No, I — I kept them. 

Hamilton. 

(Looking at her ardently.) 

You little ans;el ! _, 

^ Peggy. 

(Pleased but a little embarrassed at his boldness.) 

Won't you sit down again? Pll call my mother. 

Hamilton. 

I'll meet your mother later. What do you say to 

jumping in my^ car and taking a spin? (Going to 

the door.) _, 

Peggy. 

Splendid! I'll get my hat. 

Hamilton. 
Never mind your hat; just as you are. 
Peggy. 
(Excitedly.) 
Oh, all right. 

(Peggy and Hamilton go out C. D. laughing and 
chatting.) 

Presently Hannah enters with a tray containing 
a pitcher of lemonade and glasses. She marches 
across to the parlor door and stands in front of it, 
callings 



BETTY'S LAST BET 83 

Hannah. 
Miss Dolly! Miss Dolly! 

Dolly comes to the door in (t moment. 

Dolly. 
{Coming out and closing door behind her.) 
What is it, Hannah .^^ 

Hannah. 
.Miss Peggy told me to bring the young man some 
more lemonade. Though why he should be guzzling 
so soon after lunch 7 don't see. Where's the rest 

of the family? -r^ 

Dolly. ^ 

I don't know. 

Hannah. 

What are you doing in there talking to Miss 

Kitty's beau.? ^ 

*^ Dolly. 

Oh, Hannah, we're looking at the photographs. 

He doesn't think I'm fat. Isn't that wonderful.? 

Hannah. 

Do 3'ou mean that you've got that little clam shell 

to open his mouth.? ^ 

Dolly. 

Well, he doesn't talk much. But he's so interest- 

^ Hannah. 

When I was serving the luncheon I thought he 

was deef and dumb. ^ 

Dolly. 

{Reprovingly.) 

Oh, Hannah ! 

Hannah. 

Tliat's a man for 3^ou ! Either they won't let you 

get a word in edgeways, or they're about as chatty 

as a bump on a log. 



84 BETTY'S LAST BET 

DoLi.y. 

(Taking the tray.) 

Give me that lemonade. I think you're horrid. 

Hannah. 

(Opening the door for her.) 

What are you doing; getting mashed on your 

sister's beau? ^ 

Dolly. 

Sshh! He'll hear you! (She exits R. D. with 

lemonade. Hannah closes the door after her.) 

Hannah. 

(Muttering to herself, starts for L.) 
Ci-ftzy over the men. The girls are all alike. 
(Glances up through the door out beyond and stops.) 
Well, my land of love! Who's that Miss Peggy's 
going off with in an otty mobile.^ And two more 
cars in front of the house. Folks'll think we're hav- 
ing a county fair here. (Starting off L.) Never 
saw such an upsetting day in my life ! Men, men, 
all over the place. (Noise of Kitty's voice heard 
off L.) Now what.? 

Kitty, running in from L. and almost colliding 

with Hannah, catches her by the arms and turns her 

around. 

Kitty. 

Look out, Hannah! Look out! There's someone 

passing. I want to see him. 

Hannah. 

My sakes alive, what are you doing.? I never in 
all my born days! (She goes out in a fluster, L.) 

(Kitty starts toward the outer door. Then, 
realizing that someone is entering the porch, she stops 
and retreats a step or two and recovers herself.) 



BETTY'S LAST BET 85 

Richard Wentworth enters the porch and 
knocks at the door casing. He is thirty-five, good 
looking and dressed in the uniform of a Colonel of 
Infantry of the National Guard. 

Richard. 
I beg your pardon ! 

KiTxr. 
{Laboring under great excitement and considerable 
emotion.) 
Will you come in? {She smiles at him rather fa- 
miliarly. ) „ 

^ Richard. 

Thank you. {He comes into the room and recog- 
nizes her.) No, it isn't — Yes, it is! 

Kitty. 
Have you come for your Sonnets from the Portu- 
guese ? ^ 

Richard. 

Not at all. I came to make an inquir^^, and here 
I find you ! My goddess of the barbed wire. 

Kitty. 
Won't you sit down.^ 

Richard. 
Thank you. {She goes to the sofa and motions 
him to the chair R. of table.) Just think of finding 
you again like this. I don't suppose I can flatter 
myself that you have given me two thoughts since 
our meeting in the woods that day.? 

Kitty. 
Oh yes, I'm sure I've given you two. 

Richard. 
But not more than that. 



86 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Kitty. 
I'm not good at arithmetic. I see you are in uni- 
form. I never dreamed that you were an army man. 

Richard. 
The National Guard. We are going into summer 
camp, and I've managed to influence the powers that 
be to hold it near Stockbridge here. 

Kitty. 

Oh, that will wake things up. Sonnets and war 

are your studies.'^ _, 

-^ Richard. 

My diversions. Have you read the Browning 

sonnets.? ___ 

Kitty. 

Yes, they are beautiful. 

Richard. 
Do you remember the one — 

"The face of all the world is changed, I think, 
Since I first heard the footsteps of your soul".? 

Kitty. 
(Rapturously.) 
Yes, that is my favorite. 

Richard. 
(Delighted.) 
Mine, too. (Hitches his chair nearer the sofa.) 
Do — do you believe in love at first sight ? 

Kitty. 

Why do you ask.? _ 

-^ *^ Richard. 

Because, / do. _^ 

Kitty. 

But you're a flirt. ^ 

Richard. 

What makes you say that.? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 87 

Kitty. 
The}^ say that all soldiers are. Is it the uniform 
that does it? -r, 

KlCHARD. 

That's all nonsense. I'm not a flirt. 
Kitty. 

Oh, but you are. 

-^ Richard. 

I've never flirted with you. 

Kitty. 

Then what would you call our first meeting.? 

Richard. 

Romance. 

Kitty. 

It meant nothing to you. 

Richard. 

What makes you say that? {Hitching his chair 

still nearer.) ^^ 

Kitty. 

Because you never took the pains to find out who 

Richard. 
Well, I was called back to New York and — How 
do I know that you took pains to find out who / am? 
Kitty. 
I don't know who you are. 

Richard. 
Fifty-fifty! Why not call it quits? 

Kitty. 
Just what I say ; you're a flirt. 

Richard. 
I have thought of you so many times that I made 
up my mind to look you up as soon as I came down. 
Kitty. 
You will never convince me you have given me 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



two thoughts. Besides, for all I know you may be 

a married man. 

Richard. 

No, I'm a hopeless bachelor. 

Kitty. 

Hopeless ? ^ 

HlCHARD. 

Yes, in our family we specialize in bachelors. 

Kitty. 
{Sarcastically.) 
Oh, do you.^ In spite of your sonnet reading, 
and all that.? 

KiCHARD. 

Surely you know that all bachelors aren't women 
haters, any more than all husbands are lovers. 

Kitty. 
(^Rising as if to dismiss him.) 
I believe you said you called on an errand. 

Richard. 
{Rising.) 
Yes, as I was passing the house I saw my nephew's 
runabout outside. I should like to speak to him. 

Kitty. 

{Astonished.) 

Do you mean that Percy Wentworth is your 

nephew.? _ 

Richard. 

Yes, of course. „ 

Kitty. 

But you are so young. 

Richard. 
( Laughing. ) 
Yes, his father was the eldest and I was the young- 
est of the family. However, I'm old enough to 
handle Percy. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 89 

Kitty. 

Then you are Richard Wentworth? You Hve on 

the Robinson place ! It was your barbed wire I was 

cauffht on ! _^ 

Richard. 

Exactly. I bought the place for a summer home 

as it was near the new rifle range. 

Kitty. 
{Dropping into her chair again.) 
Oh, how stupid I've been ! 

Richard. 

(Reseating himself.) 

Not at all. It Avas delightful to meet my little 

neighbor in such an unconventional way. 

Kitty. 

But your nephew? 

Richard. 

I shall pack him back to the city with a tutor. He's 

a very backward student and he's been wasting a lot 

of precious time down here this summer. I'm trying 

to get him through Columbia, though it's a hopeless 

job, I'm afraid. 

Kitty. 

It happens tliat he's calling here now. 

Richard. 
That's what I thought when I saw his car. I'm 
going to confide in you. His valet tells me that he 
has fallen into the clutches of a very designing woman 
liere in Stockbridge. ^^ 

IVITTY. 

He has.f* It's a wonder I haven't heard of it. 

Richard. 
It seems she is a great deal older than he. I must 
put a stop to it before she kidnaps him. 



QO BETTY'S LAST BET 

Kitty. 
{Mentally putting two and two together ^ and get- 
ting more and more indignant.) 
Yes, I woidd, if I were you. {She rises, quite fu- 
rious now.) The sooner you send him •away from 
Stockbridge the better. 

Richard. 
{Rising and not observing her anger.) 
I wonder if by chance you know who this cradle 
snatcher is that he is so mad over.^ 

KiTT.Y. 

Cradle snatcher? -^ 

KiCHAllD. 

Her name, I believe, is Miss Katherine Darling. 
Kitty. 

I do know her. _, 

Richard. 

Good ! Then I wish you would tell me sometliing 

about her. „ 

Kitty. 

/ am Katherine Darling. 

Richard, 

{Staggerea.) 

No! ^ 

Kitty. 

^^^- Richard. 

{Stammering .) 
B— b — but — Kitty. 

( With flashing eyes, ) 
I am the cradle snatcher. 

Richard. 
B — b^ — ^b — but 3^ou — 

Kitty. 
I am the elderly kidnapper who is trying to steal 
your precious nephew. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 91 

Richard. 

{Horrified at zchaf he has got himself into.) 
But my dear Miss — Oh, good Lord! 

Kitty. 
Mr. Percy WentNvorth has been a horrible bore 
and a perfect nuisance to me, though the rest of the 
family seem to like him. He's the sort of idiot that 
can never take a hint, and doesn't know when he's 
snubbed. I wouldn't have liim if he were a hundred 
times as rich and the last man on earth, and the 
sooner you ship him off to New York again the bet- 
ter I shall be pleased. {Marches up stage to the 
doorway and looks out.) 

Richard. 
(In the dust at the mess he has made of everything, 
follows her up humbly.) 
But my dear Miss Darling, there has been a hor- 
rible mistake. 

Kitty. 

I should think there had. 

Richard. 
It's all the fault of that valet. The man is an 
infamous liar. I'll make Percy discharge him. I — 
I — what can I say.'' My nephew isn't worth your 
beautiful little finger 



Take him away ! 



Kitty. 
(Waving her hand.) 

Richard. 



Indeed, I beg 3^our pardon a thousand times for 

my mistake. 

Kitty. 

I'll call him. (Starts down R. for parlor door.) 



92 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Richard. 
(Grasping her hand and detaining her C.) 
Wait! Don't go! I've been an idiot! 

Kitty. 
That's perfectly true. But you can go, and take 
your sonnets with you. ( With her free hand she 
takes the little book of sonnets from one of the pock- 
ets of her dress and offers it to him over her left 
shoulder. He still has her left hand.) 

Richard. 
Keep them. Throw them away. But do forgive 
my stupidity. I don't blame Percy or any man for 
falling in love with you. How could he help it.^ 

Kitty. 
{Turning and looking squarely at him.) 
It is a very good thing for you that my family 
doesn't know how I've been insulted. 

Richard. 
But I never dreamed. I wouldn't have made that 
remark if I had known. 

Kitty. 

{With a sudden inspiration.) 

Please let go my hand. What if my Cousin Edgar 

sliould see you.^ _. 

Richard. 

{Annoyed and a little jealous.) 

Why should I give a whoop for your Cousin 

Edffar.? 

^ Kitty. 

I don't know what he would do if he saw you hold- 
ing my hand. 

Richard. 

What is it to him.? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 93 

Kitty. 

He is a jealous fiend. He is ready to kill your 

nephew. _^ 

Richard. 

{Experiencing a pang of jealousy.) 

Do you mean to say that you are engaged to your 

cousin ? ^^ 

Kitty. 

{Lying beautifully.) 

There's a sort of understanding. But I'm afraid 

I don't love him as I should to marry him. That is, 

not as I could love. ^ 

KiCHARD. 

( With a bit of desperation,) 

Katherine, listen to me. 

, Kitty. 

(Excitedly.) 

Shh ! Please go. I hear Edgar coming. And he is 

so violent. ^^ 

Richard. 

(Kissing her hand.) 

Let him come. „ 

Kitty. 

(Acting frightened.) 

No, no, he might injure you. 

Richard. 

( Recklessly. ) 

Let him — if it is for you. 

Kitty. 

(Trying to pull him toward the door up C.) 

No, no ! Do go ! ^ 

Richard. 

I won't go until I've had a chance to talk things 

over with you. 

Kitty. 

Oh, please, please! Don't run the risk of meet- 
ing him. 



94 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Richard. 

(Now excited and losing his head.) 

Where can I wait? _.^ 

Kitty. 

(Pointing to the parlor. He starts.) 

In there with jour nephew\ 

Richard. 
(Stopping.) 
No, no. I don't want to meet him. No. 

Kitty. 
Oh, dear. Edgar will see you! 

Richard. 

(Starting up L.) 

In here, then. 

Kitty. 

( A Imost screaming. ) 

No, no. You'll meet Edgar. 

Richard. 

(Rushing down to door lower L.) 

How about this? __ 

Kitty. 

That's only a closet. 

Richard. 
It will hold me until you can get rid of your cousin. 

Kitty. 
(Terribly excited but also amused at the situation.) 
Oh, dear. Don't let him find you! 

Richard. 
(Throwing her a kiss with his right hand and open- 
ing the door with his left.) 

You are adorable ! ^^ 

Kitty. 

Oh, don't let him liear you ! 



BETTY'S LAST BET 95 

Richard. 
(Going into the closet but looking out.) 
Will you forgive my horrible mistake? 

Kitty. 
Yes, yes! (Closes the door after him, leans against 
it and laughs silently. She then runs up and is about 
to go off U. L. zahen Jack enters.) 
Jack. 
Oh, here you are ! ^1^,^^ 

(Finger to her lips.) 
Hush! Come over here! (Takes his arm and leads 
him over down R.) j^ck 

(In a lower tone.) 
Where is he? (She points to the closet door.) In 
there? (She nods.) What is it, a sitting room? 
Kitty. 
No, a closet. He's hiding from you. 
Jack. 

Did you scare him? 

Kitty. 

I tried to. , 

Jack. 

Poor kid ! Where's Dolly? 
Kitty. 

In the parlor. ^ 

Jack. 

Have you made him jealous? 

Kitty. 

I tried to. I told him we were engaged; that you 

were a jealous fiend, and that I was afraid you would 

kill him. _. 

Jack. 

He must have thought I had grown suddenly 

jealous since luncheon. Poor Percy! Now let us 



96 BETTY'S LAST BET 

see if mj scheme works. If this doesn't bring him 
to the point of proposing, I don't know what will. 

Kitty. 
What do we do now.^ 

Jack. 

I shall terrify you, threaten you, and if he has 

the heart of a man he will come out and offer to 

knock my block off. 

Kitty. 

All right; go on and terrify me. 

Jack. 

(Striding over toward the closet door.) 

Are you ready? 

-^ ^ Kitty. 

Yes. Be sure that he hears you. 

Jack. 

(Standing close to the closet and facing it when 
he speaks to Kitty, who stands just behind him.) 

Kitty, I am not going to stand for your trifling 
any longer. (Turning his head over his shoulder 
and whispering.) Answer, answer. 

Kitty. 

( Whispering.) 

What shall I say.? , 

Jack. 

(Loudly at the door.) 

Ha, you'd better blush. I should think you would 

change color after the way you've been going on 

with that Wentworth fellow. 

Kitty. 
Oh, Edgar, please don't have one of your jealous 
fits again. I give you my word he has never tried 
to make love to me. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 97 

Jack. 
{Over his shoulder.) 
Good! {Facing door again.) Do jou tliink I 
believe you? You torture me with your flirtations 
with that milksop. When I see you laughing and 
talking and smiling at him I sec red. Something 
hursts in my brain and I want to kill — yes, kill! 

Kitty. 
Oh, Edgar, don't give way to one of your rages, 

I^^^^«^- Jack. 

{Shouting at the door.) 
Don't argue with me. You make me feel I could 
})ut my fingers round your beautiful white throat 
and choke you ! 

kiTTY. 

{Screaming; but .standing perfectly/ still behind him.) 
Oh, Edgar. Don't, don't! 
{There is a noise of falling glass in the pantry.) 

Jack. 
So, you have got your other lover in the closet. 
Now I know you are faithless. 

Dolly and Percy run in from the parlor. 

Dolly. 
What is all the noise about.? 

Percy. 
Has — has something happened.? {He has the fam- 
ilij album in one hand and a glass of lemonade partly 
consumed in the other.) 

Jack. 
{Turning in aviazement at the sound of Percy's 
voice.) 
What are you doing there? 



98 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Mrs. DARLrxG comes on from L. with Betty. 

]Ml{S. DxVllI.ING. 

What in the world? 

Bktty. 
Mj' goodness, it's working ! 

Hannah folloics them in. 

HANNAIt. 

Mv land of love, is somebody gettin' killed.^ 

Jack. 
Kitty, what are you up to? 

Kitty. 
Won't 3'Ou all please go away? 

Mrs. Darling. 
I want to know what this is all about? 

Betty. 

(To Jack C. He is hetxveen Betty R. C. and Mrs. 

Darling L. C.) 

Is the scheme working? 

Jack. 

I thought Percy was in that closet, but he is there. 

(Pointins;.) ^ 

positions. 

Dolly 

Percy Betty Jack Mrs. D. Kitty 

,,,, , . ., ., Mrs. Darling. 
What IS it? 

{From this point to the curtain the cues must be 

picked up quickly, and the dialogue go very fast.) 

Jack. 
Someone is in that closet. I heard him. 

Hannah. 
It's a burglar. (The women scream.) 



BETTY'S LAST BET 99 

Jack. 
Have you got a gun? 

Kitty. 
(Nozc thoroughly frightened.) 
Don't shoot. Please don't shoot! 

Jack. 

Percy, have you got a gun on you.'' 

Percy. 

No, I never shoot. 

Jack. 

Who's got a gun.^ I'll get him out of there. 

Who's got a gun.f^ {^He turns to them.) 

Betty". 
{Who has been watching the door of the closet.) 
Look, the handle turned! 

Kitty. 
All of you go away. (Steps away from the door.) 

XT > • .1 Betty. 

He s coming out ! 

(Hannah, Dolly and Mrs. Darling scream. 

Dolly hides behind Percy', who is frightened.) 

Kitty. 
(Shrinking away up above the door.) 
This is awful! 

The door is flung open and Richard strides out. 
Everybody exclaims in astonishment. 

PERCY^ 

( Thunderstruck. ) 
Uncle Dick! j^^^ 

(Blinking.) 

What the deuce ! _ 

Betty. 

That isn't a burglar. 



100 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Hannah. 

Nice ffoinffs on ! ^^ 

^ ^ Dolly. 

(To Percy.) 

Is it your uncle.? 

Mrs. Darling. 

What are you doing in my preserve .closet, sir? 

(She is facing him.) 

Kitty. 

Let me explain, mamma. {Coming down beside 

Richard, L.) ,_ -^ 

' Mrs. Darling. 

Be quiet, Miss ! _ 

Richard. 

Madam, I offer you my humble apologies. 

Mrs. Darling. 

How did you get in my closet, sir.? 

Betty. 

Yes, what are you doing in our jam.? 

Kitty. 
Betty, will you keep quiet.? 

Jack. 
As the head of the family, I want an explanation. 

Richard. 
( With a ferocious look at Jack.) 
I don't know what you w^ant, but what you will 
get is for you to say. I'll meet you outside and we 
can settle matters with or without gloves. 

Jack*. 
I don't know you, but I'm at your service. 

Richard. 
{To Mrs. Darling.) 
Madam, if you peraiit your daughter to marry 
that fellow, you will be committing a crime. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 101 

Kitty. 
Never, never, I will never marrj^ Edgar! 

Mrs. Darling. 

Kitty, who is this man.? Do you know him.? 
Kitty. 

Yes 

Richard. 

My name is Richard Wentworth, madam, and if I 

liave compromised your daughter, I — 

Jack. 

You have. _, 

Betty. 

Yes, he has, mannna. 

Richard. 
I was going to say, madam, I wish to ask your 
daughter to consider me as a rival to this bully. I 
want to make her Mrs. Richard Wentworth if she 
will have me. Kitty. 

{Overcome with joy.) 

^^^' Percy. 

{Remonstrating.) 

Oh, uncle! -r» 

Richard. 

It was love at first sight, and I never realized it 

until I was in that closet. {Turning to Kitty.) 

What do you say? 

■^ -^ Kitty. 

What do you say, mamma.? 

Mrs. Darlixg. 

What do you say, Edgar.? 

Jack. 

What do you say, Betty.? 

, Betty. 

I say yes! 



102 BEITY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 
We saj — 

Betty, Jack, Kitty, Dolly, Mrs. D. and Hannah. 
{All shout together.) 

KiCHARD. 

Your cousin doesn't seem to take it very hard. 

Kitty. 

He's crazy, anyway. . 

(Mrs. Darling is shaking hands with Richard 

and kissing Kitty.) 

Jl ercy. 

(To Dolly.) 

He's stolon my o'irl. ^ 

•^ ^ Jack. 

(To Betty, as he raises his light arm with extended 

forefinger.) 

One! ^ 

Positions. 

Hannah. 

(Up L. C.) 

Dolly. Percy. Betty. Jack. 

(Down R.) (Down C.) 

Mrs. Darling. Richard. Kitty. 

(Down L.) 

Curtain. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 



The Third Act. 
Scene: The same. An hour later. 

As the curtain rises Hannah with a tray of glasses 
is standing L. C. and talking to Mrs. Darling, 
who is in the closet. Dolly and Percy are sit- 
ting in chairs out on the porch. 

Hannah. 

No, ma'am. What I say is, take a good long time 
to look a man over before you get up before a min- 
ister and swear to do all those things you hate like 
pison after you been married a while. (A short 
pause.) I think that for Miss Kitty to be engaged 
to a man that pops into her life like a jumping jack 
is taking awful chances. 

Mrs. Darling enters from the closet with two bot- 
tles of some sort of home hrew. 

Mrs. Darling. 

{Paying no attention to Hannah's grumblings.) 

I think this dandelion wine will be just the thing 

to celebrate the engagement with. 

Hannah. 

Lord knows it was work enough digging up the 

blamed things and brewing it. I hate to see it all 

guzzled up by a parcel of men that none of us ever 

saw before. __ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Do stop your croaking, Hannah. It is simply 

marvelous that little Edgar, who was such a plain 

103 



104 BETTY'S LAST BEl^ 

child, should have turned out so charming and 
clever. And that a rich and important man like 
Colonel Wentworth should have met Katherine in 
such a romantic way. 

Hannah. 
Romantic way.^ Shucks! I don't see — 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Wiping off the bottles.) 

Of course you haven't lieard about it. I hadn't 

until just now. It was all on account of a barbed 

wire fence and love at first sight. (Putting bottles 

on the tray.) __ 

"^ ^ Hannah. 

I don't see what barbed wire has got to do with 

this here love at first sight. Love, my eye ! 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Pushing Hannah's arm to get her to move. TJieij 

go R. C.) 

Go on in now, Hannah, and put the tray on the 
little stand. We'll drink to tlie engagement. Yes, 
that's right ; the small glasses. It's rather strong. 
I guess one bottle w^ill be enough. (Takes other 
bottle off tray and staiicls it on table.) 

Hannah. 

(Going up to parlor door.) 

I should say so. All I hope is that Miss Kitty 

don't regret it all her born days. (Exits grumbling 

into parlor R.) ^, -^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

(Goes up to the porch door.) 

Come, Dolly, and you, too, Percy. We are going 

to drink to your uncle's and Kitty's engagement. 

(Leaves door and goes into parlor.) 



BETTY'S LAST BET 105 

Dolly enters, followed hy Percy, who has been 
crying. 

Dolly. 
Come on in, Percy. We'll have to go in the par- 

Percy. 
I'm not going in there. Do you think I'm going 
to let Uncle Dick gloat over me.? 

Dolly. 

My goodness, wliy do you let them see that you 

care ? -p, 

Percy. 

I can't help it. {He is down R. C, she is L. C.) 

Dolly. 

Kitty never really encouraged you, did she.? 

Percy. 

(Drops into chair and xveeps in his handkerchief.) 

, No, but your mother did. 

Dolly. 

Well, mothers arc like that. Especially where 

men are as scarce as they are here. I don't suppose 

Kitty thought you were really in earnest. 

Percy. 

In earnest.? Why, I wish you could see the way 

my appetite fell off. I couldn't take any interest 

in anything, and I got so I only shaved every other 

Dolly. 
{Going over and putting her hand on his shoulder.) 
I'm sorry you take it so hard. 

Percy. 
{Really furious.) 
I've a good mind to go in there and make a fuss. 
What if I'd stolen his girl like this.? 



106 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Dolly. 
Oh, don't do that. It wouldn't help you. It 
wouldn't change Kitty's feelings. 

Percy. 

I wasn't thinking of her. It's my dignity that's 

been insulted. A man can't stand for that, you 

know. ^ 

Dolly. 

Yes, but he's your uncle. How can you stand on 

your dignity with him.^ 

Percy. 

(Blubbering.) 

You bet if he was a stranger I'd go in there and 

punch his face. - ^ 

Dolly. 

Is Kitty the only girl you ever loved .'^ 

Percy. 
I should say not. I've been in love about five 
times now. Turned out wrong every time, too. 
Dolly. 
(Disappointedly^.) 
Oh, you must be horribly fickle. (Goes over L.) 

Percy. 
I wouldn't be if I could only get married. But 
Uncle Dick has stood in the way every time. 
Dolly. 
Why? p^^er. 

(Furiously and rising.) 
He says I'm too young. Isn't that a scream.? 

Dolly. 
Well, you aren't of age yet. 

Percy. 
But you don't have to be of age to fall in love. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 107 

Dolly. 

(Casting sheep's eyes at him.) 

I shouldn't think you'd want to marry a girl 

older than you. _, 

^ Percy. 

What difference does that make.? 

Dolly. 
I suppose we've got to go in there. 

Percy. 
If I go in there, I shall have to stand on my dig- 
nity and make them ashamed of the way they've 

treated mc. „ 

Dolly. 

Well, then, go ahead. 

Percy. 
I — I — I don't know what to say. 

Dolly. 
Come on into the garden and think of something. 

Percy. 
All right, you help me. ( Wiping the traces of 
tears from his face with his handkerchief. He catches 
sight of the bottle.) What's that? 

Dolly. 
A bottle of mother's dandelion wine. 

Percy. 
Let's drink to my revenge. (Picks up the bottle.) 

Dolly. 

It makes me dizzy. Oh, Percy, I hope you're 

not a drunkard ! ^ 

Percy. 

Would you care if I were.? 

Dolly. 

(Shylz/.) 
Yes, indeed, I would! 



108 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Percy. 
(Earnestly.) 
I only take to liquor when I'm desperate. 

Dolly. 
(Reaching for the bottle.) 
Oh, Percy, I thmk you'd better not have it. 

Percy. 
(Retaining it.) 
Yes, I had ! And anywa^^, I've got another reason 
for drinking today. ^^ 

What.? 

Percy. 

I hate to tell you. 

Dolly. 

Oh, come on, do ! „ 

Percy. 

You won't despise mc? 

Dolly. 

Of course not! ^ 

Percy. 

Well, I want to get up some Dutch courage. 

Dolly. 

What for.? 

Percy. 

You won't be offended if I tell you.? 

Dolly. 

Of course not. „ 

Percy. 

Well, while I was in the parlor alone with you, 

I found out that — er — that — (Too embarrassed to 

continue.) ^ 

^ Dolly. 

What.? 

Percy. 

Sure you won't think I'm changeable if I tell you.? j 



BETTY'S LAST. BET 109 

Dolly. 

(In hap pi/ anticipation.) 

No, indeed ! _, 

Percy. 

Well, while we were sitting together and looking 

at the album, I found out that I like you better than 

I do Kitty. jy^^^^. 

{Joyously.) 
Do you.'^ Oh, Percy! (In a practical tone.) Come 
on out and have your refreshment in the garden. 
We'll get a glass in here. (Exits U. L.) 

Percy. 
(Following her.) 
You see how perfectly you understand me.^ That's 
what I like. You're so sympathetic, Dolly! (Exits 
U. L. after her.) 

Hannah enters from parlor, R., followed by Jack. 

Hannah. 

There they go into the dining room. (Looking 
after Percy and Dolly.) 

Jack. 

Don't call them back. Doll}^ is healing his 

wounded heart. _._. 

Hannah. 

Wounded fiddlesticks ! That was nothing but calf 

love. T- 

Jack. 

Well, what's the matter with calf love? It's like 

the measles. You catch it while you're young, soon 

get over it and it leaves no scars. 

Hannah. 
(Looking out the door.) 
My land of love, if there isn't another car! 



110 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 
Yes, Colonel Wentworth's. 

Hannah. 

What'll the neighbors think.'' 

Jack. 
That Mrs. Darling has a parking concession. 

Betty rmis in from the parlor. 

Betty. 

Let's have some music to celebrate. {Begins to 

select a record.) 

Jack. 

That's right. The house of Darling must cele- 
brate this occasion. (Assists her.) 

Hannah. 

(Starting off U. L.) 

I guess I'd better get into my kitchen or the 

house of Darling won't have no dinner tonight. 

And it looks to me as if we was going to have a mob 

here. (Goes off growling.) 

Jack. 

Hannah doesn't seem to take this affair in the 

rlffht spirit. _, 

Betty. 

(Putting dance record on machine.) 

Hannah's all for the four of us being old maids. 

Jack. 

Betty. 
She took the job of cook with mother years ago 
just because there were no men around. 

Jack. 
Yes, I notice she is the only one that doesn't fall 
for Cousin Edgar. 



BETTY'S LAST BET HI 

Betty. 

(Starting the music.) 

Wait until we get found out. Won't she triumph 

with her "I-told-you-never-to-trust-a-man".? 

Jack. 

(Going to her and holding out his arms.) 

It's a pity to waste all that good dance music. 

Betty, 
Yes, isn't it.? (They begin to dance.) 

Jack. 
All I've got to say is, Kitty put it over all of us. 
Betty. 
(As they dance.) 
I can't believe it's all true yet. 

Jack. 
It looks as if I'd win that bet. 

Betty. 
You can't put that sort of thing over more than 
once. Peggy and Doll^^ are not so clever. 
Jack. 
Xo, but as the only male member of the family, 
I'll go gunning for husbands for them. (They keep 
dancing around the room.) 

Betty. 
I wonder what became of poor Edgar .^^ 

Jack. 
Oh, he's back in New York by now. 

Betty. 
Poor thing! When mamma finds that out, I may 
as well pack and leave home. 
Jack. 
He'll dig one of his excavations and fall into 
it. You'll never hear from him again. 



112 BETTY'S LAST BET 

At this moment Edgar with his luggage comes up 
on the porch. They do not see him. 

Jack. 
The poor fish. I feel sorry for him. 

Betty. 
Yes, so do I. He looked so stupid. 
(Edgar is knocking, hut they do not hear him.) 

• Jack. 

Yes, he may be clever in archaeology. But as a 
business man he couldn't put over a deal to sell a 
twin-six limousine for the price of a tin lizzie. 

Betty. 
1 guess not. 

(Edgar steps inside,) 

Jack. 

Poor old Edffar! _. 

^ Betty. 

Yes, poor little Eddie ! 

{At this point they hump into Edgar up stage 

and almost knock him over. Betty screams.) 

Jack. 

{Letting her go and jumping to the parlor door 
(IS Kitty and Mrs. Darling call out, ''What's the 
matter?'' from the parlor.) 

All right! All right! 

Richard appears at the parlor door. 

Richard. 
What's the trouble? 

Jack. 
Nothing. Nothing, old man. 

Richard. 
Didn't vour Cousin Bettv scream? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 113 

Jack. 

Nothing at all. It's nothing — nothing at all. 

Richard. 

{Stepping into the room and seeing Edgar, who is 

talking in a low tone to Betty.) 

Who is that fellow.? 

Jack. 

(In an undertone.) 

That.? Oh, that's a peddler. Wants to sell us a 

patent chicken incubator that you can attach to the 

electric light. It will also heat a curling iron, grind 

the co^'ee and rock the baby to sleep. 

Richard. 

(Curious.) 

Well, let US- 
Jack. 

(Turning Richard about and shoving him back 

through R. D.) 

Go on in there and be happy with Kitty — hang 

you. I'll get aunty away in a jiffy. Go on in. 

(Has shoved him back and now closes the door on 

him. Holds it for a moment and looks at Edgar.) 

See here, young man, I tliought you were in New 

York. 

Betty. 

He hasn't been back at all. 

Jack. 

What.? 



Edgar. 



No, you see- 



Jack. 

Now, look here. Your train should have gone an 

hour and a half ago. 

Edgar. 

But there is a mistake somewhere. I want to find 

my aunt, Mrs. Darling. 



114 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 
(Coming over to him C.) 
You're strong on sticking to one idea, aren't you? 
Sort of single-track mind, I guess. 

Edgar. 
You told me to talk to the station master. 

Betty. 
(L. of Edgar, who is C.) 
Yes, why didn't you do it? 

Edgar. 

I did talk to him. 

Betty. 

What did he say? _ 

•^ Edgar. 

He told me where to find my aunt. 

Betty. 

{Faintly.) 

Oh, did he? ^ 

Edgar. 

Yes. 

Jack. 

Well, then, take his advice and go and find her. 

Edgar. 
But this is the liouse he described. 

Jack. 

This house? ^ 

Bktty. 

Not this house? ^ 

Edgar. 

Yes, this is the one. 



Impossible ! 



Jack. 

Betty. 

Absolutely ! _ 

-^ Jack. 

Why, do you know what this house is? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 115 

Betty. 
Yes, that's what / say. Does he.? 

Edgar. 
But I was told that Mrs. Darling — 

Jack. 

See here, my friend. {Walks him up to door.) 

Do you see those cars.? 

Edgar. 

Yes. 

Jack. 

How many are there parked in front of this house? 

Edgar. 

Three. 

Jack. 

Did you ever see three cars parked in front of a 

private house before? 

Edgar. 

^''^' '- Jack. . 

Of course not. _, 

Betty. 

I should say not. 

^ Jack. 

(Turning Edgar about, facing the audience and 

coming dozen a few steps.) 

The fact is, there is a convention going on here. 

Betty. 

Yes, indeed. „ 

Edgar. 

A convention? _ 

Jack. 

(Still hiding his arm.) 

Yes, a matrimonial convention. 

Edgar. 
I never heard of such a thins*. 



116 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
You never heard of such a thing? 

Jack. 

The idea! 

Hetty. 

The very idea! _. 

^ Jack. 

Now, I ask you if your grandmother, or your 
great aunt, or whoever it is you are looking for, 
would be holding a matrimonial convention, wher- 
ever she was.? ^ 

Edgar. 

No, I don't suppose — 

Jack. 
{Picking up a grip and handing it to him.) 
Of course not. So don't waste any more of your 
precious time. I would advise you to get to ancient 
Greece as soon as possible. 

Betty. 

{Handing him another hag.) 

Yes, here's your bag. And I do hope you'll have 

a pleasant iourney. -^ 
^ J J Edgar. 

{Now quite dazed.) 

I was sure the station man said it was the fourth 

house on the left side of the — 

Betty'. 

Isn't that queer.? 

Jack. 

{Bustling him tip and off.) 

I told you he was a queer fish. Don't depend upon 

what he says, but catch that next train! {Hustling 

him out the door.) _ 

^ Edgar. 

Thanks very much. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 117 

Betty. 
You're quite welcome. 

Jack. 
You bet you are. (Edgar goes off the porch R. 
and thei/ look at each other and almost wilt with the 
sense of relief.) That was a close shave! 
Betty. 
(Running to phonograph and stopping it.) 
I should say so ! 

Mrs. Darling comes from the parlor, 

Mrs. Darling. 
Has the salesman gone.^^ 

Betty. 

Yes. 

Jack. 

What is it, aunty? 

Mrs. Darling. 

I should like to have seen that thing he was selling. 

Jack. 

What, the vacuum cleaner,^ 

Mrs. Darling. 
(Coming over R. C.) 
Was it a vacuum cleaner.? I thought it was a cof- 
fee grinder. 3^^^^. 

(At L. C.) 
It was both, mamma. 

Jack. 
(At C.) 
Yes, you could grind your coffee and clean your 
rugs with it at the same time. 

Mrs. Darling. 
I don't believe I'd care for that. 



118 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 
That's just what I said, mainina, so I sent hlin 
away. (She goes out on the porch.) 

Jack. 

Well, aunty, how do you like your prospective 

son-in-law ? -» r -r>. 

Mrs. Darling. 

My dear, I can't get my breath over it yet. Think 

of Katherine making such a splendid match. I can't 

believe it even now. Poor Perc}'. I can see now wliy 

Katherine treated him so coldly. 

Jack. 
Yes, Percy is a good youth, but not' exactly a fel- 
low for a girl like Cousin Kitty to rave about. 

Mrs. Darling. 
What in the world has become of Peggy? She 
disappeared an hour ago. Think of it, she doesn't 
know yet! (Betty is shoxving signs of excitement 
on the porch, waving her hand and hallooing.) 
Have you gone crazy, Elizabeth? 

Betty. 

{Running inside the door.) 

Mamma, who is that with Peggy — tliat stunning 

man? 

Jack. 

Hooray, another! 

Mrs. Darling. 
{Running up to the window and looking out.) 
Stunning man? What are you talking about? 
Well — who in the world? And in another automo- 



bile! 

A stranger. 



Betty. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 119 

Jack. 
(At Betty's side and in- a loxi^ voice to her.) 
Steady, Betty. Let the good work go on. 

Betty. 
He's getting out, too. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Where on earth has that girl been with him.? (She 
is plainly worried.) , 

ICasv, aunty. He looks very eligible to me. 
Peggy and Hamilton are coming up on the porch. 

Jack. 
Let us handle him with care. 

Betty. 
Where in the world have you been, Peggy.'* 
{They are coming in.) 

Positions. 

Peggy. Hamilton. 

Jack. 

Betty. ^ Mrs. Darling. 

Betty. 

{Placing him at once.) 

Oh, Mr. Moriarity, the man who threw the — 

Peggy. 
{Quichly, as she turns on Betty.) 
Sshh ! {Goes and confers with Betty, R.) 

Jack. 

{Shaking hands.) 

We are delighted to meet you, Mr. Moriarity. 

Mrs. Darling. 
Yes, indeed. {She is too dazed to know what she is 
really doing and stares in his face.) 



120 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Hamilton. 

I am very happy to make your acquaintance. I 

suppose you thought I had run away with your 

(laufijhter? __ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

No, I really have been so busy that I — 
Jack. 
(Helping her out.) 
Yes, we have had rather a whirl of a time today, 
haven't we, aunty .^ (The three talk in an under- 
tone. ) -r, 

^ 13ETTY. 

(To Peggy.) 

And you've been riding all this time with him.'' 

Peggy. 

Yes. And oh, Betty, he is wonderful ! You never 

saw such an adorable flirt! 

Betty. 

My dear, don't waste any time on flirts. Choose 

one that is in earnest, as Kitty did. 

Peggy. 

Percy.? ^ 

-^ Betty. 

No, my dear, Percy's Uncle Richard. 

Peggy. 

I don't know what you are talking about. (Betty 

imparts the news about Richard and Kitty in an 

undertone.) _, -_^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Won't you stay to dinner this evening, JNIr. Mori- 

arity.? tt 

Hamilton. 

Why, I should be very glad if — if I sha'n't be in- 
truding. - 

^ Jack. 

Not at all. This Is Liberty Hall. Isn't it, aunty.? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 131 

Mrs. Darling. 

I don't know tliat I'd exactly call It that. But we 

like to be nice to nice people. Won't you sit down, 

Mr. Moriarity. 

Hamilton. 

Thank 3^ou. (Indicates seat for her, and "after 

^^^'•") Mrs. Darling. 

I think I must confer with my cook. Then I want 

you to meet my daughter's fiance, Colonel Richard 

Wentworth. {Very proudly as she pronounces his 

name.) tt 

^ Hamilton. 

Colonel Richard Wentworth? Why, that is the 

man I came down here in search of. 

Jack. 

You don't say. _._. 

• Hamilton. 

I am an officer in the guard myself. And I've had 
some correspondence with Colonel Wentworth over 
the summer encampment and the new rifle range. 
Mrs. Darling. 
Oh, indeed. And what is your rank? 
Hamilton. 

Mai or. -r 

•^ Jack. 

Major Moriarity, you ought to charm the votes 

off the bushes at election time with such a name as 

that. (The three talk in an undertone.) 

Peggy. 
(Wildly excited.) 
And they are really and truly engaged? How 
marvelous ! _, 

IJETTY. 

You never saw anything so clever in your life. 
We can thank Cousin Edgar for it. 



122 V BETTY'S LAST BET 

Peggy. 
Where are they? I want to sec him. I want to 
congratulate them ! _ 

iiETTY. 

In the parlor. We drank their health in some of 
mother's dandelion wine. 

Peggy. 
And I missed the whole thing ! 

Betty. 
Oh, I guess you aren't sorry. My dear, he is 
certainly there with the charm. 

Peggy. 

He is wonderful w^hen he gets talking. Quotes 
poetry and everything. 

Betty. 
Peggy, you are more in love witli him than' ever. 

Peggy. 
Oh, Betty, ^I'm crazy about him ! 

Betty. 
{Immediately crossing her and going L. and beck- 
oning to Jack.) 
Oh, Cousin Edgar, may I speak to you a moment? 

Jack. 

(To Mrs. Darling and Hamilton.) 

Will you excuse me? (He goes to Betty and the 

two go up and out on the porch where she is seen 

to tell him animatedly about Peggy's infatuation. 

Jack takes the story in with great interest.) 

Mrs. Darling. 
Peggy, perhaps you will tell the Colonel that Ma- 
jor Moriarity wishes to see him. You will excuse me, 
Major? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 123 

Hamilton. 
(With a s J)] end id hoTC.) 
Certainly, madam. 

(E.vit Mrs. Darling, U. L.) 

Peggy. 

Do you suppose I dare interrupt the cooing doves 

in there.? __ 

Hamilton. 

You might give them a moment or two more. (///- 

dicates that she come over to the sofa xvhere he is 

standing',) I hate to interrupt love's young dream 

hy talking about pup tents and camp kitchens. 

Peggy. 
(Crossing and sitting on sofa.) 
How do you find time for military duty with all 
the wonderful work 3'ou do for the State.? 

Hamilton. 

My dear Miss Darling, the work we do for the 

State is mostly in words. The supply is unlimited 

and costs nothing;. _, 

" Peggy. 

Oh, but I am sure 3^ou must be making all sorts 

of wonderful laws to make everything better. 

Hamilton. 
I shall have to get you to take the stump for me 
in my next campaign. 

Peggy. 
I wish I could. I'd love to be of some use in the 



wor 



Id. 



Hamilton. 



(Sentimentally .) 
Ah, but better still you bless the earth with your 
beauty. As Shakespeare says, "Beauty too rich for 
use, for earth too dear." 



124 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Peggy. 
{Delighted hut embarrassed.) 
I'm afraid I don't deserve all that. 

Hamilton. 
What do you think I meant when I threw those 
pansies at your feet the first time we met? 

Peggy. 
I'm sure you say these things to so many girls. 

Hamilton. 
Well, if a man has an eye for beauty, why 
shouldn't he pay tribute to it wherever he meets it? 

Peggy. 
(Rises disappointed.) 
I'd better go in and give your message to my new 
brother-in-law elect. (Crosses to K. on her way to 
parlor. ) 

(Betty comes in C* D. with Jack froni porch.) 

Betty. 
Yes, yes, you speak to her about it. (Goes down 
C. to Hamilton, who has risen.) 
Jack. 
Just a moment. Cousin Peggy. (She stops near 
the parlor door and they talk in an undertone.) 

Betty. 
(To Hamilton.) 
I'm afraid you think we are a very unconven- 
tional family. 

Hamilton. 

I haven't had the luck to meet all of it, but so far 

I should say it was just about the corkingest family 

in Connecticut. _, 

Betty. 

My sister, Peggy, is so inexperienced, I suppose 



BETTY'S LAST BET 125 

she didn't think anything about going off with a 

stranger. 

Hamilton. 

A man who represents this district in the State 
Assembly you can't exactly call a stranger. 
Betty. 
Oh, but you are a flirt. You'll admit that.? 
Hamilton. • 
(Egotistically^.) 
A little flirting, now and then, is relished by the 
staidest men. Betty. 

(Very seriously.) 
Still, I wish that — oh, well, I mustn't say any- 

th'"& Hamilton. 

(Bewildered.) 

I don't understand. 

Betty. 

I only hope that no trouble comes of it. My 

Cousin Edgar is so hot-headed. 

Hamilton. 

(Worried.) 

I don't know what you 'mean. 

Betty. 

(Going- up and around bach of the table as she 

speaks.) 

Excuse me, won't you.'* Oh, Peggy, wait for me. 

(Hamilton is perplexed.) 

Jack. 

(Aside to Peggy.) 

Remember, if you want to be Mrs. Moriarity you 

will have to follow your Cousin Edgar's lead. 

Peggy. 

If I were only sure that he loves me. 



126 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 

A man always loves the girl he thinks some other 
fellow's after. (Turning to Hamilton.) I am sure 
you will excuse the young ladies, Major Moriarity.? 
Hamilton. 
Certainly. (The girls go into the parlor. He looks 
at Jack, zcho is moodily glaring at him. Feeling 
nneomfortahle in t^ie pause, he takes out his zcatch 
and looks at it.) I — I — I think, after all, if you will 
give my excuses to Mrs. Darling, that I will go back 
to the Colonel's house and wait for him there. 
Jack. 
(Ponderously.) 
Why.'^ Why not wait for him here.'' 
Hamilton. 
(Uncomfortable under Jack's stare.) 
I think it would be very bad taste for me to butt 
in at a time like this. (Starts up stage.) 
Jack. 
Wait! (Hamilton stops. From now on Jack 
puts up a big bluff.) I want a few words with you. 
Do you know that 3'ou are breaking up one of the 
happiest homes in this country.? 
Hamilton. 
(Amazed.) 
I .? I don't know what you are talking about. 

Jack. 
You came here today like a serpent in the garden. 
Hamilton. 
(Getting mad.) 

Oh, here now — _. 

Jack. 

You have been destroying the hopes of every man 



BETTY'S LAST BET 127 

in this town who aspired to win Margaret Darling as 

his wife. ^^ 

Hamilton. 

Why — why. Is she engaged.^ 

Jack. 
{In a righteous manner.) 
If she is not, it is simply because she cannot make 
up her mind which to choose among the young men 
who are in love with her. 

Hamilton. 
She never said anything about — about — 

Jack. 
Ah, that was it. You, with your eloquence, your 
oratory, your command of English, have hypnotized 
her. You have advertised to everyone in this town 
that you are interested in her. You, a marked man, 
a conspicuous political figure. Don't tell me you 
didn't know what you were doing. 
Hamilton. 
But my dear fellow, she wanted to go. 

Jack. 

Ah, there you have the weakness of the female 

nature. She confided her reputation to you, never 

dreaming that she was driving off those honest but 

more humble admirers. (This last very threaten- 

^^^^'^ Hamilton. 

Now, look here, Mr. — Mr. — whatever your name 

is. T ■ 

Jack. 

Edgar — Cousin Edgar. But that is of small im- 
portance. / am thinking of that poor girl's repu- 
tation. _._. 

Hamilton. 

But this is sheer nonsense. I had no idea of any- 



128 BETTY'S LAST BET 

thing but a pleasant drive about the town while I 
was waiting to see Colonel Wentworth. 

Jack. 
Ah, the Colonel ! What will he say ? He is mar- 
rying into this family. He knows what the gossips 
are in this town. If he gets down on you, you 
couldn't be elected poundmaster from this district. 

Hamilton. 

{Completely mystified and dazed by all this and 

beginning to weaken.) 

But, my dear friend, I really don't know what this 

is all about. 

Jack. 

That's it. Men like you take everything as a 

matter of course. 

Hamilton. 

But my intention was to — 

Jack. 
(Bristling up to him,.) 
Do you know the place that is paved with inten- 
tions? Good ones at that.^^ 

Hamilton. 
(Getting angry.) 
But I had no intention to — 

Jack. 
Ha-ha! No intentions! That's it, no intentions! 
You break up a girl's life, destroy her future, drive 
the men who love her to despair, and then you say 
you have "no intentions." (He is making a good 
loud bluff himself.) 

Hamilton. 

But I tell you there is a mistake. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 129 



Jack. 

{Taking off his coat with a belligerent air.) 

There is. But there will be no mistake about what 

I'm ffoinsf to do. _._ 

^ ° Hamilton. 

Look here, I'm not going into a strange house 
and start fighting. Keep your shirt on. I am will- 
ing to apologize to whoever I have harmed. 
Jack. 

Apologize? ,-, 

^ ^ Hamilton. 

Certainly. What else can a gentleman do? 

Jack. 

He can fight for his woman as did the cave man 

of old! ^ 

Hamilton. 

But I'm not a cave man. 

Jack. 

Then you refuse to give me satisfaction as the 

head of the family.? Very well. We'll see what the 

Colonel has to say. __. 

Hamilton. 

(Alarmed.) 
Colonel Wentworth? 

Jack. 
Yes. And Lord help you if he gets after you. 
He'll put you in your political grave in this district. 
(Making a bluff as if starting for the parlor, he 
grabs up his coat and puts it on again.) 
Hamilton. 
Wait. Wait. Can't we find a way to compro- 
mise ? 

Jack. 

There's just one way you can compromise now. 

_^ ..1.3 Hamilton. 

How IS that.'' 



130 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Jack. 
Marry Margaret and make her happy. 

Hamilton. 
Isn't that a pretty stiff price to pay for a flirta- 
tion.? I am not a marrying man, you know, but — 

Jack. 
I'll let the Colonel decide, {Makes another break 
for the parlor door.) 

Hamilton. 
(Running and catching his arm R. C.) 
Here, here ! Wait, wait ! What I was going to say 
was — I can imagine no more charming wife in the 
world than Margaret. So if — 

Jack. 
{Joyously breaking away and running to the parlor 
door.) 
Yes, yes. I understand. You needn't make a 
speech about it. {Throzcing the door open.) Come 
out here, Peggy. Come everybody and offer your 
congratulations. (Hamilton is embarrassed but 
g^^e.) B^^^y 

{Rushing out first.) 
What in the world are you talking about.? 
Jack. 
{Introducing her to Hamilton.) 
This is Miss Elizabeth Darling, the youngest of 
the Darlings. p^^^^. 

{Enters breathlessly.) 
Why, what is it, Edgar.? 

Jack. 
The Honorable Hamilton Moriarity has some- 
thing to say to the family, I believe. 



BETTY'S LAST. BET 131 

Betty. 

What is it? {She looks dazed and Jack points to 
Peggy and then Hamilton.) 
Jack. 
Yes, get your mother in here. 

(Betty exits U. L. on the run.) 

Richard and Kitty enter R. wonderingly. 

Richard. 

{Seeing Hamilton.) 

Isn't this Major Moriarity.'^ 

Hamilton. 

{Saluting.) 

Yes, Colonel. I called to see you about the plans 

for the camp, and — _. 

Jack. 

I think the Colonel is taking a day off from mili- 
tary matters, aren't you, Colonel.^ {Goes over to 
Peggy R. and explains how the land lies.) 
Richard. 
Yes, rather. Major, let me present you to my 
future commanding officer, Miss Katherine Darling. 
Kitty. 
Pm ever so glad to meet you. 

Hamilton. 

Congratulations. ^ 

Richard. 

{Happy and glowing as he stands C. with Kitty 

on his R. and Moriarity L. Peggy is hack of the 

table.) 

Love at first sight, it was with us. Wasn't it, 

Kitty. 
{Rather shyly.) 
Yes. 



Kitty.? 



132 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Richard. 

That is the sign of the real thing. You look into 

the divorce cases and you'll find it was a long drawn 

out courtship. Both sick of each other before they 

tied up. ^ 

Kitty. 

Oh, Richard, do you believe that.'^ 

Richard. 
My dear, I intend to be married as soon as you 
can get your trunk packed. I won't give you time 
to learn all my bad habits beforehand. 
Hamilton. 
(Thoughtfullij.) 
I believe there is something in that. 

Jack. 
That's the idea. Mr. Moriarity was just saying 
he believed in love at first sight himself. 
Hamilton. 
(Choking with surprise.) 

I— b-b blub— hm ! 

Jack. 
My Cousin Peggy, here, too, has a few ideas on 
the subject. Haven't you, Peg.^ 

Peggy. 
{She also scarcely knows what to say, but stares at 
Hamilton.) 
Why, I — I — I think it's — b-b-beautiful. 

Richard. 

Well, well. Is it possible that — (With a smile at 

Hamilton, meaning that he is aware.) 

Hamilton. 

(Stammering.) 

Why, you see — it is — it is like this. I — I — I — 



BETTY'S LAST BET 133 

Jack. 

The I's have it. (To Peggy.) Step lively, Peggy, 

and clinch it. _. 

Peggy. 

(Looking very pretty and helpless as she steps down 
between Richakd and Hamiltox.) 

Really— I— I— ,. 

-^ Kitty. 

. {Immensely surprised.) 

Why, Peggy, you don't mean that you — that 

you — , 

*' Jack. 

Exactly. {Nervously looking toward the door 
L.) Where is your mother.? {To Kitty, with a 
wink.) I think we all know the dance that Peggy 
has led several of the eligible young men in Stock- 
bridge ; the suitors that have been waiting for her 
to choose. But it has remained for that rising young 
statesman, that fearless orator, that stalwart young 
guardsman, the Honorable Major Hamilton Mori- 
arity, to distance them all in the affections of our 
dear and fascinating Margaret. 

Richard. 
Hooray! Wait till the regiment hears it. Wait 
till your women constituents get the news ! Cap- 
tured ! The 3^oungest and handsomest member of the 
Legislature ! And by my own pretty little sister-in- 
law elect. We'll have a double wedding. 

Kitty. 
{Runs and kisses Peggy.) 
Oh, Peggy. How did you keep it such a secret.'* 

Peggy. 
I never expected to see him again. And then — 



134 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Hamilton. 
(Now carried away completely/ and losing his in- 
stinctive fear of marriage, he draws Peggy to him.) 
Make me happy and say yes. 

Peggy. 
(Looking up at him.) 
Yes! (He kisses her.) 

At this moment Mrs. Darling and .Betty come 
in U. L. The good lady is in a terribly fussed state, 
not knowing whether to be pleased or angry. 

Jack. 

Bless you, my children ! Ah, here is aunty. What 

if she forbids the banns .^ Have you fixed it for them, 

Betty.? 

Betty. 

Yes, Peggy told me all about falling in love at first 

sight, and- _ 

Jack. 

(Bringing Betty down on his R. and Mrs. Dar- 
ling on his L. and, all at center.) 

Of course. And forgetting the fellows that were 
trying to get her to change her name and be Mrs. 
Them. (All the family are amazed at these zohop- 
pers, but letting him carry them off.) Why, I knew 
they had lost out when I saw Peggy advertising to- 
day that she was going to be Mrs. Moriarity by 
riding all over the place in Hamilton's car. (Talk- 
ing glibly and crossing and, as he comes to the end 
of the above, seizing Hamilton's hand.) Congratu- 
lations, you've won a prize. Ham, old man, I wish 
you both joy. (To Peggy.) Peggy, take your 
Cousin Edgar's blessing. (Kisses her.) 
Betty. 

And mine, too. (She kisses Peggy a7id with a 



BETTY'S LAST BET 135 

wicked look up at Moriarity.) What a whirl you 

must be! t»^ x^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

Margaret, dear! (She is weeping a tiny hit as she 

kisses Peggy.) Mr. — er — a — Major — my son ! 

(Kisses him; he embraces her.) I hope you will be 

very happy. (Kitty and Richard have gone up 

stage. Mrs. Darling is still a bit confused.) Come 

in to the parlor, my dears. We must have a toast 

to the happiness of Peggy and — and — oh, yes, Mr. 

Moriarity. (She exits into the parlor,) 

Richard. 
(Following with his arm around Kitty.) 
Come on in, Moriarity. Come, Peggy, this is a 
festival da.y. Come, we'll make it a foursome. (He 
and Kitty go into the parlor. Hamilton is fol- 
lowing with his arm around Peggy.) 

Hamilton. 
(Stopping just outside the door.) 
I don't know how this has all happened. 

Peggy. 

Neither do I. 

Hamilton. 

But I'm very happy. How about you.? 

Peggy. 
I feel as if I were in a beautiful dream. 

Hamilton. 
All right, then. Don't let anybody wake us up. 
(He kisses her and they exit into parlor.) 

Jack. 
( Who has been watching them, with Betty, holds 
up his hand, extending his first and second fingers.) 
Two! 



136 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Betty. 

You are a wizard. 

Jack. 

And our bet.? _^ 

Betty. 

It isn't won vet. 

•^ Jack. 

Two-thirds won. How about paying.? 
Betty. 
{Dancing away L.) 
Pay in full on delivery. 

Jack. 
All right; never say die. 

Betty. 

(Stopping suddenly over by the door.) 

Hush! (Noise of Dolly's and Percy's voices in 

the dining room.) My goodness, what's the matter 

with Percy.? 

Jack. 

Are they coming in here.? (Goes over to closet door 

Betty. 

Yes. 

Jack. 

Come here and let us decide what to do next. 

(Opens the door and steps inside. She follows. They 

do 7iot close the door. He stands with his hand on 

the knob, the door screening them.) 

Dolly. 
(Outside L.) 
Come in here. They've all gone now. 

Dolly and Percy enter U. L., she supporting him. 
Percy is feeling the effects of the home-made bev- 
erage. _, 

^ Percy. 

It'sh sho funny. I never felt like thish before. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 137 

Dolly. 
Oh, Percy, I do hope you are not going to die! 

Percy. 
Sho do I. (Dolly is leading him to the sofa, 
zchich is just above and beyond the closet door.) 

Jack. 
{Aside to Betty.) 
Percy is spifflicated. 

Dolly. 
Sit down here, Percy, and rest. {Putting him 
down on the sofa and sitting below him.) 

Percy. 

Yesh- — thatsh it. I need a resht. {Shaking his 

head sadly.) What I've been through thish evening 

ish too much. ^ 

Dolly. 

Why, it isn't evening yet. 

Percy. 
Ishn't it.^ I thought it wash. I've shuffered sho 
much I can't remember. 

Dolly. 
Don't think about it any more. 

Percy. 
{Taking her hand and looking at her pathetically.) 
You feel shorry for me — don't you, Dolly .^ 

Dolly. 
Yes, but I don't think it's your suffering that's 
made you ill. 

Jr ERCY. 

Oh, yesh it ish. My shufferings are shimply ter- 
rible. ^ 

Dolly. 

I'm afraid it's mamma's dandelion wine. 



138 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Percy. 
(Shaking his head solemnly.) 
It wasn't the wine made me shufFcr. It was that 
lieartless shister of yours. 

Dolly. 
No, no. I mean it was the wine that made you ill. 

Percy. 
Did I drink some wine.? 

Dolly. 
Why, yes. Don't you remember.? 

Percy. 
Ishn't it fiersli P I can't remember anyshing. All 
I know ish that nobody lovsh me. (Begins to weep.) 

Dolly. 
Oh, don't say that, Percy. I — I like you. 

Percy. 
Thash jusht it! Thash jusht it! Everybody liksh 
me. Nobody lovsh me. Speshly girls. 

Dolly. 

(Half shyly.) 
You don't want anybody to love you but Kitty. 

Percy. 
(Recklessly.) 
I don't care who lovsh me; just sho shomebody 
lovsh me. (Weeping.) It'sh a terrible thing when 
nobody lovsh you. Terrible ! 

(Jack has been whispering to Betty, and he noiv 
steps out of the closet, followed by her.) 

Jack. 
Here, here! What sort of a speech is that.? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 139 

Dolly. 
{With a little scream of fright.) 
Oh, Edgar! (She jumps up and runs over to the 
other side of the room. Jack stands in front of 
Percy ivith folded arms.) 

Betty. 
What in the world ails him.? 

Dolly. 
Why, he took only two glasses of mother's dande- 
Hon wine. Then he began to get so wobbly — and 
like this. j^^j. 

(Sternli/.) 
What I want to know is, are you trifling with tnis 

g^^^-^ Dolly. 

(Frightened and clinging to Betty.) 
What is he talking about.? 

Betty. 

Be quiet, Dolly ! _, 

^ -^ Percy. 

(Staring up at Jack.) 

Trifling.? Whash you mean, trifling.? 

Jack. 
I mean talking about love to Dolly. 

Percy. 
Who elsh will I talk to.? Dolly's sho shympathetic. 

Jack. 

Exactly. And you are trifling with her sympa- 
thies, you young brute. 

Percy. 
Brute.? Are you calling me a brute.? 

Jack. 
I certainly am. You were taking advantage of 



140 BETTY'S LAST BET 

being alone here to speak of love to mj Cousin 

Dolly. Weren't you? 

Percy. 

Yesh. TA 

Dolly. 

Oh, Edgar, how can you? 

Betty. 
You know you are crazy about him. 

Dolly. 

Oh, hush ! 

Jack. 

Dolly, could you make up your mind to marry 

this besotted youth if he were to ask you? 

Dolly. 
Oh, Edgar, I'd adore to. 

Percy. 
(To himself.) 
Brute — who's a brute? 

Jack. 
Now, sir, you have won the affections of my 
cousin. What are you going to do about it? 

Percy. 

Affectionsh? Do you mean that shomebody lovsh 

me ? -. 

Jack. 

I certainly do. 

(Struggling to get on his feet.) 

Lead me to her. 

Jack. 

Dolly, come here. _, 

*^ Betty. 

(Steering Dolly over to him,) 

Now, Dolly, do your part. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 141 

Dolly. 
If he were only more like himself. 

(Jack is assisting Percy to his feet.) 
Betty.. 
He'd never have the nerve to propose then. 

Jack. 
Dolly, would you burden yourself with such a spec- 
imen as this? _-. 

Dolly. 

Oh, Edgar, I'd adore to. 
Percy. 
( Wobblt/ but sincere. ) 
Dolly, you're the most affectionate girl I ever 
knew. I'm so crazy about you that I didn't dare 
shay so. 

tJ ACJK.. 

There, Dolly. (Passing her L. C. to Peggy.) 
Dolly. 

• Oh, Percy ! 

•^ Percy. 

Lesh run away and get married. 

Dolly. 

But you're not quite — yourself. 

Percy. 

I know it. If nobody lovsh me I want to drink 

myshelf to death. Could you love me when I'm 

sober, Dollj^ darling? 

Dolly. 

Oh, Percy! You are too heavenly. (She guides 

him to the sofa.) „ 

Percy. 

And will you be Mrs. Pershy Wentworth? 

Dolly. 

(Sitting mith him.) 

But I thought you were in love with Kitty. 



142 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Percy. 

I wash, until I found out you were sho shjn«pa- 

thetic. Then I found out it wash you, Dolly, I 

loved all the time. ^ 

Dolly. 

Oh, Percy! {They embrace.) 

Jack. 

{Holding up his hand with three fingers extended.) 

Three! 

Betty. 

I don't believe it! ^ 

Jack. 

{Running across to the parlor door.) 
Just you wait. {Calls into parlor.) Come in here, 
everybody. The latest candidates for congratula- 
tions are in here. Moriarity, you and Peggy are 
back numbers already. (Betty goes up to windoxv 
L.) 

Mrs. Darling, Hamilton, Peggy, Richard and 
Kitty come in from the parlor. Jack takes Mrs. 
Darling hy the arm and leads the procession down 
the stage in front of Percy and Dolly on the sofa.) 

Jack. 

Come on, aunty, you've got another prospective 

son-in-law. _ _ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

What in the world do you mean-f^ 

Dolly. 
{Jumping up and going to her mother.) 
Oh, mamma, he — he — 

(Kitty has taken in the situation and has been 
whispering to Richard.) 

Richard. 
Percy, what the devil are you up lo? 



BETTY'S LAST BET 143 

Percy. 
I'm through wish college. I'm going to be happy. 

Mrs. Darting. 
Do you mean that you have proposed to Dolly ^ 

Percy. 

I can't remember. But I want a bleshing on our 

wedding. _ , ^ 

° Mrs. Darling. 

I don't know whether I'm in my right senses or 

Peggy and Kitty. 

How wonderful ! 

The idea! 

Hamilton. 

It seems to be in the air. 

Richard. 
Perhaps marriage would make a man of him. 

Jack. 

You bet it would! {To Mrs. Darling.) Give your 

consent, aunty. __ ^ 

-^ Mrs. Darling. 

Why — why — 

{All hut Jack and Betty crowd around in front 

of the sofa to congratulate Percy and Dolly.) 

Richard. 
What's the matter with you, Percy? 

Percy. 
Excush me, I'm feeling very ill. 

Dolly. 

(Kitty and Peggy kiss her.) 

Oh, girls, isn't it magical the way things have 

happened today.? ^ 

Richard. 

Well, I hope you will be as happy as I am, boy. 



144 BETTY'S LAST BET 

Hamilton. 
Congratulations. (Percy cannot he seen hy the 
audience for the others in front of him.) 

Jack. 
( Who has gone up and got Betty and is now bring- 
her down.) 
Come, now; own up. I've won. 

Betty. 
Then I suppose I've lost. 

Jack. 

Pay up. 

J Betty. 

Oh, not now. _. 

fjACK. 

When ? 

Betty. 

Oh, when there isn't a whole crowd present. 

Jack. 

Come out on the porch. {Taking her hand.) 

He does not see Edgar, who with his luggage is 
again on the porch coming to the door. 

Jack. 
Come on. {They almost hump into Edgar.) 

Jack and Betty. 
{Together.) 
Look who's here! {All the others turn around and 
see the stranger and exclaim.) 

Jack. 
What are you doing back here again .^^ 

Edgar. 
{Speaking angrily at the top of his voice.) 
I want to see my aunt. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 145 

Jack. 
{Trying to hustle him out.) 
Don't you see the convention's in session? 

Betty. 
Oh, do go away ! 

Mrs. Darling. 
Is that the peddler.^ 

Edgar. 
{Breaking away from Jack and coming down C) 
Aunt Mary, don't you know me.? 

All. 

Aunt Marv? -^ 

Jack. 

(To Betty.) 

It's all ofF. 

Edgar. 

Aunt Mary Darling, I'm your nephew, Edgar 

Darling. And this person has been trying to keep 

me from seeing you all afternoon. 

All. 

What? __ ^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

I think I'm going crazy. 

Kitty. 

{To Jack.) 

Aren't you Edgar Darling? 

Peggy. 

Aren't you? ^ 

-^ Dolly. 

Aren't you? 

Jack. 

I have been for three short hours, but I resign 

in favor of this gentleman who seems to have a prior 

right to the title. 



146 BETTYS LAST BET 



^Iiis. Darling. 
Good heavens ! What it what and who is who ? 
{They all stand amazed at this new retwlation.) 

Edgar. 
This person and that young lady have been trying 
to tell me that you didn't live here. 
Betty. 
Now, Edgar, can't you take a joke? 

Jack. 
I'm afraid we can't depend upon Edgar's sense of 
humor. Betty 

{Crossing to her mother.) 

Xow, mamma, don't be angry. It was a bet. 

x\ll. 

Mrs. Darling. 
And what was this precious bet? 

Betty. 
Why, he bet that the girls — {Realizing the dan- 
ger of telling.) Oh, my goodness, it was just a bet, 

and I lost. ,_ .^^ 

Mrs. Darling. 

And how much shall I have to pay for your losing 

your bet? Jack. 

{At L. C.) 

Oh, my dear madam, I couldn't permit you to pay. 

Mrs. Darling. 

Why not? 

*^ Betty. 

It was three kisses, mamma, one for each of the 

^''^'- . The Giri-s. 

From us? „ 

Betty. 

No, / was the one to pay. 



BETTY'S LAST BET 147 

Richard. 
And who is this young man? 

Jack. 
(Pulling card from case.) 
Here is my card, Colonel Wentworth. I am Jack 
Van Loon of the Seventh New York. 

Hamilton and Richard. 
Jack Van Loon? 
Captain Jack Van Loon? 

Jack. 

Y"es, I'm down here toda^^ picking out a site for 

a new factory. I'll be camping here, too, with you 

fellows. „ 

Richard. 

Why, of course. _._. 

Hamilton. 

Yes, but what's all this stuff you've been putting 

^^^^- Richard. 

(Seriously.) 
Yes, what's the idea? 

Jack. 
Well, I'm after one of these Darlings, and I 
wanted to get you fellows out of the way. 

Hamilton. 

Which one? ^ 

Richard. 

You can't have Kitty, my boy. 

Hamilton. 

Nor Peggy. ^^^^^ 

Nor Dolly. j^^^ 

(With a laugh.) 
I'll take what's left of the Darlings. (Peggy a?id 
Kitty have surrounded Betty, B.C. To Edgar, 



148 BETTY'S LAST BET 

who is talking to ^Irs. DarlixCx earnestly.) Edgar, 

forgive nie. I have immortalized you, but you didn't 

know it. _, 

Betty. 

Jack Van Loon is the one who paid my fine at the 

police station, brought me home in his car, and — 

(Kitty crosses to Richard.) 

Jack. 
{Going R. C. fo'BETTY.) 
And is going to collect three kisses from you now, 
providing you'll — {He stops.) 

Betty. 
What? {He whispers in her ear and she nods.) 

Jack. 
You will.^ Then here goes. One! {He kisses one 
cheek.) Two! {Kisses the other cheek.) Three! 
{Kisses her forehead.) And four for the future Mrs. 
Jack Van Loon. {Kisses her on the lips. Betty is 
enraptured.) 

Hannah enters U. L. 

Hannah. 

My land sakes, there's another ottymobile in front 
of the house. Wliat'll the neighbors think.? 

Jack. 

Tell them there was a bridegroom in every one of 

them. -.-. 

Hannah. 

{Falls back and looks at all the lovers.) 

' Good Lord ! _ 

Peggy. 

{At the phonograph.) 

Oh, let's celebrate! 



BETTY'S LAST BET 149 

Mrs. Darling. 

Make yourself at home, Edgar. These are all 
your cousins. 

(She sits in a chair L. of table. Edgar, n^ar her, 
puts down his grips. Hannah is up L. Percy is 
now fast asleep on the sofa with his head on Dolly's 
shoulder. Richard and Kitty L. C. Hamilton 
and Peggy R. Jack and Betty C.) 

Betty. 
{To Jack.) 
What will you bet that we quarrel .^^ 

Jack. 
No, this is my last bet. 

Betty. 
And mine, too. 1 swear off. 

Hannah. 
Have they all gone crazy .^ What do you call this, 

^ ^' Mrs. Darling. 

This is what I call the end of a perfect day ! 

{She makes Edgar at home L. C. Percy and 
Dolly are still on the sofa. Hannah is up L. C 
The three other happy young couples dance in a 
circle around the stage to the music of the phono- 
graph.) 

Curtain, 



Mary's Millions 

nv 

Frederick G. Johnson 

A RURAL COMEDY in ?, acts; ', males, f, females, 
extras optional. Time, 2 hours. Scenes: 1 interior, 
1 exterior. 

CHARACTERS. 

Jaclv Henderson A Civil Engineer 

•limmie Barnes His Friend from New York 

Ezra Stoneham The Village Storekeeper 

Ahija Boggs A Human Flivver 

Victor de Selles An Imported Product 

Jane Stoneham Ezra's Better Halt 

Eudora Smith The Stoneham's Hired Girl 

Lola de Selles Victor's Sister 

Mrs. Mudge Wedded to Her Ouija Board 

Betty Barlow A Country School Teacher 

Mary Manners An Heiress to Millions 

Members of the Choir. 

"When T go after a side partner, she's going to be 
a live-wire lady. No corn-fed beauties for mine." 
"Say — honest — is there anybody in this one-horse town 
that has a million dollars?" "I've read books. I have, 
about tliem slick rascals from the city." "Waitin' 
for the mail? Looks more like waitin' for the female." 
"More city folks, I'll bet a doughnut." "I believe in 
sperrits. but I ain't seen none sense the country went 
dry." "Stop scratchin'! Ain't you got no company 
manners?" "He looks like a head waiter and he 
talks like a bottle of seltzer." "All foreign wild ani- 
mals looks alike to me." "The greatest doin's since 
the mill dam busted." "What's been swiped an' who 
done it?" "Any clues? No. all genuine pearls." "She 
has chain lightning slowed down like the rural free 
delivery." "I foller the deeductive method. I don't 
take no clues off no Fiji board!" "Boy, I sure do 
hate to take you, but I reckon T got to." "Funny 
what a difference just a few rqillions make." "The 
third degree trimmed with hayseed." "Eudory, you 
say the durndest thingsl" 

Professional stage rights reserved and a 
royalty of fifteen dollars required for amateur 
performance. Price, Per Copy, 50 Cents 



T. S. Denison & Company, Publishers 

623 South Wabash Avenue CHICAGO 



Old Maids 

Fannv Cannon 

A COMEDY in 3 acts: 5 males, s leinales. Time, 
1' hours. Scenes: 2 interiors. 

CHARACTERS. 

Caselda Brown From New York 

Amanda Chase Her Aunt 

Alma Bellows Afraid of the Black List 

Mrs. Bemus No Old Maid, Thank Heaven! 

Miranda Purcell One of the Old Maids 

Abby Snyder. , Another 

Sarah Stone Still Another 

Emma Nelson And Another 

Christopher Bellows A Prosperous Farmer 

Jed Hopkins ; . The Postmaster 

Henry Perkins The Village "Catch'' 

William Bemus A Farmer 

Jasper Elwood From New York 

This might be called the tragi -comedy of a small 
town. Alma, aged 25, with a "liorrible example" of a 
town full of unmated women, accepts the onl\- mar- 
riageable young man in the neighborhood for fear of 
being an old maid. But Caselda, an attractive and 
mouthful-seeming "old maid," arrives from New York, 
and in dramatic yet laughable fashion she turns things 
around, opening the eyes of her former townsmen and 
saving Alma from the "village beau." Running 
through the comedy is a vein of serious undercurrent 
on the status of the unattached female, and a hint as 
to the way out. Every person in OLD MA IDS is a 
'"type" tliat invites the skill of the artistic performer. 
Miss Cannon is the author of many professional stage 
successes as well as an authority on the technique of 
playwriting, and in this comedy she offers rare oppor- 
tunity to a group of skillful character players. 

Professional stas^e rights reserved and a 
royalty of fifteen dollars required for amateur 
performance. Price, Per Copy, 50 Cents 



T. S. Denison & Company, Pnblishers 

623 South Wabash Avenue CHICAGO 



Whose Little Bride Are You? 

BY 

Edith Ellis 

A FARCE Comedy, in 3 acts; 5 males, 5 females. 
Time, 21/0 hours. Scene: 1 handsomely furnished 
living room. This play was written by the author 
of "Mary Jane's Pa" and other nation-wide successes. 

CAST OF CHARACTERS. 
Dr. Benjamin Bellows. A Sentimental Retired Physician 
Algernon Clawhammer. . .His Prospective Son-In-Law 

Augustus May His Butler 

Simeon Singleton His Old Friend 

George Tobin His Prospective Step-Son 

Florence Bellows His Charming Daughter 

Mrs. MacEckron His Neighbor 

Dolly MacEckron Her Daughter 

Maggie Brady The Maid 

Mrs. Amelia Tobin The Bride-To-Be 

At the beginning one potential bride is visible; be- 
fore the final curtain the woods, so to speak, are full 
of them. The brides range in assortment from the 
little flapper not yet out of her teens, to the seasoned 
200-pound campaigner who has worn the orange blos- 
soms no less than four times. Matrimonial pairing 
proceeds even to the butler and the housemaid. Mis- 
taken identity furnishes an unusual measure of com- 
plications until it actually becomes a problem as to 
which little bride is which, or who. Plot, situations 
and dialogue dovetail perfectly. The incidents are as 
humorous and rapid-fire as ever went into a play. It 
is especially adapted to amateurs, the parts being so 
vividly characterized and the action so continuous that 
the piece virtually carries itself. 

Professional stage rights reserved and a 
royalty of fifteen dollars required for amateur 
performance. Price, Per Copy, 50 Cents 



T. S. Denison & Company, Publishers 



623 S. Wabash Ave. 



CHICAGO 



Plays for Schools and Colleges 

THE HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN 

By Charles Ulrich. Comedy in 3 acts; 12 males. Time, 
2 hours. Price, 25 Cents. 

THE KINGDOM OF HEART'S CONTENT 

By LIndsey Barbee. Comedy in 3 acts; 6 males, 12 fe- 
males. Time, 2% hours. Price, 35 Cents. 

MACBETH A LA MODE 

By Walter Ben Hare. Burletta in 3 acts; 7 males, 7 
females. Time, 1V4 hours. Price, 25 Cents. 

MRS. TUBES OF SHANTYTOWN 

By Walter Ben Hare. Comedy-drama in 3 acts; 4 
males, 7 females. Time, 2^. hours. Price, 35 Cents. 

A POOR MARRIED MAN 

By Walter Ben Hare. Farce-comedy in 3 acts; 4 males, 
4 females. Time, 2 hours. Price, 35 Cents. 

A PRAIRIE ROSE 

By Edith F. A. U. Palnton. Comedy-drama in 4 acts; 
7 males, 4 females. Time, 2% hours. Price, 35 Cents. 

THE REAL THING AFTER ALL 

By Lindsey Barbee. Comedy in 3 acts; 7 males, 9 fe- 
males. Time, 2% hours. Price, 35 Cents. 

RE-TAMING OF THE SHREW 

By John W. Postgate, Shakespearean travesty in 1 act; 
6 males, 5 females. Time. 45 minutes. Price, 25 Cents. 

RUTH IN A RUSH 

By LIndsey Barbee. Comedy in 3 acts; 5 males, 7 fe- 
males. Time, 2^^ hours. Price, 35 Cents. 

SAVAGELAND 

By Walter Ben Hare. Musical comedy in 2 acts; 5 
males. 5 females. Time, 2^^ hours. Price, 75 Cents. 

SING A SONG OF SENIORS 

By LIndsey Barbee. Comedietta; 7 females. Time, 80 
minutes. ^ Price, 25 Cents. 

STAR BRIGHT 

By Edith F. A. U. Palnton. Comedy-drama in 3 acts; 
6 males, 5 females. Time. 2^ hours. Price, 35 Cents. 

ZARAGUETA OR MONEY TALKS 

Translated from the Spanish by Clarence Stratton. 
Comedy in 2 acts; 7 males, 4 females. Time, 2 hours. 

Price, 35 Cents. 

T. S. Denison & Company, Publishers 

623 S. Wabash Ave. CHICAGO 



T-1021 



Denison's Acting Plays 

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